


Asylum

by perfect-porcelain (kathleenhasfeelsandwords)



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Asylums, M/M, Torture, scary?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-07
Updated: 2012-12-07
Packaged: 2017-11-20 13:55:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 18
Words: 31,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/586092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathleenhasfeelsandwords/pseuds/perfect-porcelain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s the 1930s, the time where insane asylums are a popular place for the members of society that don’t exactly meet the standards of England. Harry Styles is not crazy. He does not belong here but after overhearing something he wasn’t supposed to his parents threw him into High Royds Asylum, locking him up for good. He needs to get out and get out fast, otherwise he might just become another experiment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Moving this from tumblr. Just some background stuff, Louis has multiple personality disorder, Zayn is bi-polar, Liam has intense panic attacks, and Niall has an anxiety disorder. A side note, High Royds Asylum actually does exist and they were one of the ones that was known to experiment on their patients. Just thought I might spill that little tidbit.

What was he doing here? He didn’t belong here. He was the farthest from crazy. Oh excuse me “mentally insane”. He was not meant to be among the screams and the moans and shaking. He was meant to be out in the sun, playing some posh sport, riding horses, or hell even just reading the newspaper drinking some tea or _something_. He was most certainly _not_ supposed to be trapped in a cramped room alone with his thoughts and wearing only scratchy woolen pants and a cotton shirt.

He paced his “room”. More like a cell. It took him five steps across and eight forward to touch the opposite wall no matter which wall he was up against. He knew that he had been thrown in here because of what he overheard. It was a secret that was never supposed to get out of that room yet he had somehow slipped through. So what did people do with people they wanted to disappear? They threw them in an insane asylum. He did have to applaud his parents though. This was much neater than actually killing him. Killing could be so messy you know.

High Royds Asylum was quaint on the outside. Almost picturesque even with its gothic themes and the sprawling grounds it seemed more like a holiday get-away than a torture chamber. He didn’t try to convince himself that it was just a harmless place. He knew the stories. He also knew that once you went in it was difficult to get out but he was determined.

The doctors were kind to him and his parents, telling them exactly what they did to their patients and they attempted to listen, but mainly to put on a front. His mother played distraught well while father kept the stoic face on. They seemed like the perfect couple dropping off their poor son, bless his heart, to get better. The doctors assured the couple that their son was in good hands and then they left, kissing him on the cheek for the first time in years. Playing the part. Always playing the part.

After they left he got a tour of the facility. He had to commend his parents once again on picking the place. It was secluded, away from any cities or towns and it was huge with its own little railway. How quaint. He could use that to his advantage later he had a feeling. Already he was calculating a way to get out and the doctor noticed and he just laughed at him.

“Oh Harry don’t even bother. That train has more problems than half of the people in here trust me.” The doctor gave him an almost sinister looking smile and he shuffled away a bit from him, already getting a weird vibe but the good doctor was having none of that. He grabbed him around the shoulder and brought him close, leading him around and showing him the “library that has hundreds of books! And if you’re a good boy you’ll get to read them” or he pointed outside at the “garden that the patients get to help in during the sunny days”. He wasn’t quite sure if he meant the physical sunny days or if that was a euphemism for a day without any “episodes” as the doctor so kindly named them.

He knew that he wouldn’t have any problem of “episodes”. He was perfectly sane and healthy. He just got stuck with an unfortunate situation that would curse the rest of his life.

“Ah here we are. The West Wing.” The doctor smiled at him. He had already nicknamed him Doctor Smiley. Perhaps that was a little sadistic on his part but at least it was the truth. The man smiled way too often for such a place. “You’re a quiet one aren’t you son?” Smiley asked and he shrugged.

“My parents just dropped me off at an insane asylum. I think that deserves the right to be a little quiet.” He muttered and Smiley just smiled at him.

“We prefer the term ‘mental institution’.” Smiley nodded as he then continued walking down the surprisingly large and wide hallway. He sighed and followed, trudging along. “The West Wing is for our most severe cases.” Smiley said over his shoulder and his head whipped up. Severe cases? Was he serious? Damn his parents. Why couldn’t he have been born to a nice, loving family that didn’t try to tear each other apart at the first sign of weakness? The only thing they seemed to have decided upon was coming together to shut him away for good.

To be honest he should have seen it coming. He was the oddball of the perfect Styles family. The family that was known for their riches and their high class. They were revered and he was often shunted aside or hidden away only because he didn’t give into the social norms. He didn’t believe in ignoring people that didn’t have the same amount of money in the bank. He didn’t believe in wasting money on watching horses race and he didn’t take pleasure in ordering the help around. He was a human being to people and look where that got him? Now he was considered less than a human being to the eyes of these doctors.

“Now Harry as being in the West Wing that means that you’ll have your own room. Isn’t that nice? You’ll also get time to be with the other cases, that is as long as you don’t have ‘episodes’. We’ll go over your treatment plan tomorrow with the chief of staff and then get a schedule figured out. For now you can go into the lobby. Meet a few people before it’s time for bed.” Smiley motioned for him to go inside a large room with high ceilings and bay windows. It was beautiful he had to admit. He slowly walked into the room that had several spaces sectioned off by sofas and tables and it was almost like a quaint little boarding school or something like that.

He watched people play chess or checkers. A few sat around the fire and was just talking. He didn’t see anyone out of place. Of course he remember Smiley’s words in saying that only those that didn’t have episodes got to come to this lobby area. A few people looked up as he shuffled more inside the room and he searched for at least one friendly face. He locked onto a group of four that were gathered in a circle, sitting on the floor, two leaning up against the couch, the other two against the wall. He wondered over and took in a deep breath. He needed to find some friends at least. He kept repeating that over and over in his head as he crossed the room, more people looking at him now.

“Um hi.” He greeted the little group and they all looked up at him. At least they all seemed decent, no glazed over eyes or flitting gazes. “I’m Harry. I’m..um I’m new here.” He said a little nervously but he was happy that they all smiled at him, at least all of them but the tanner one who just looked at him with a cool look on his face.

“Hello Harry. I’m Liam.” The nicer one of all of them smiled at him and patted a spot next to him. The blonde one didn’t meet his eyes and instead moved a bit towards the boy across from him. “This is Zayn,” Liam continued, pointing to the tan boy who just nodded to him. “That’s Niall.” Liam pointed to the blonde boy who gave him a shy little smile and he smiled back at him, making Niall grin bigger and look away quickly. “And that’s Louis.” Liam finished, pointing at the last boy who gave him a big, beaming smile but then scolded Liam.

“Lou, Liam. I’m Lou.” Louis said confidentially and Liam nodded.

“Right. Lou.” Liam gave him an encouraging smile then looked over at him. “Welcome to High Royds.”

“So um..if you don’t mind me asking what got you guys in here?” He asked, hoping they wouldn’t freak out on him or something like that. Was it a bit forward of him to ask that?

“Oh yeah that’s fine.” Liam spoke for all of them again. He got the feeling that he was the leader of them or something along those lines. “I have bad panic attacks, Zayn helps with that though. And I help him with his bi-polar attacks. Niall has social anxiety and he doesn’t like closed spaces. And Louis? He has this thing called multiple personalities.” Liam explained and Louis looked at him a bit confused.

“Who’s he?” Louis asked and Harry looked at him a little taken aback.

“Harry. He’s new here.” Liam explained calmly and Louis looked him up and down.

“Nice to meet you Harry.” Louis said with a little smile and Harry gave him a hesitant one back.

“You too, Louis.” He replied just as a whistle was blown. He looked around, confused yet again as to what was happening. He copied the four boys as they got to their feet.

“Bed.” Liam explained and he nodded, understanding now. For once he actually hoped Smiley was out there, otherwise he would have no idea where to do for his room. Thankfully he was and surprisingly his room was near to the ones of the four boys.

“There we go Harry. See you bright and early!” Smiley grinned almost comically at him. “Your new clothes are on the bed.” He said before he left, locking the door behind him.

Great. Now he was alone in this tiny, tiny room. Alone in this asylum full of crazy people and creepy doctors that would probably run experiments on him.

He had to get out, and get out soon.  
Next


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit more of the background info. Few nice little cameos in there ;D And a whole lot of crazy too.

He woke to the sound of a whistle, hitting his head against the creaky iron wrought cot that was so kindly placed in his tiny little cell of a room. Even the mattress was creaky. It was a wonder how he even got to sleep but he did and now he was awake with a pounding on his head where he was sure to get a bruise under his unruly curls. He heard the present sound of the lock turning and the door was opened and the light shining in, practically blinding him. A figure walked in, blocking the rays of light but the image he got was no better than the sun. In fact he’d rather have the sun back.

“Morning Harry! Did you get some sleep?” Smiley piped cheerily and Harry groaned, muttering curses under his breath. “Now that’s no way to meet the day. Come on we have plenty of things to do!” Smiley walked closer, tearing the scratchy sheets off of his bed and Harry let out a little yelp of surprise.

“What the hell was that for?” He practically yelled.

“Temper, temper Mr. Styles. You don’t want to get your free time taken away now do you?” Smiley smiled at him meanacingly and he sat up in his bed. “You’ll soon learn to follow the whistle.” The doctor said simply, turning around as Harry clambered to his feet, slipping on the shoes that he was given. He was rather surprised that he wasn’t given slippers.

“The whistle?” He asked as he ran a hand through his hair and slowly followed Smiley out of the room. He wasn’t sure where they were going. It was to a new part of the asylum that was still decorated in sunlight which gave it a happy appearance.

“The whistle is what makes this hospital function Harry. It tells you the time of day and where you’re going to next.” Smiley explained

“Oh so like a prison.” He mumbled under his breath and Smiley quickly turned on him, his normally cheery expression one of disgust and hate as he pulled him roughly by the collar

“This is not a prison Mr. Styles.” The doctor seethed but then his face relaxed and he let Harry go, even going through the trouble to smooth his collar down for him. “This is place where we want to help you get better.” Smiley resumed walking and Harry followed him, a bit shaken up at what had just happened. “Ah here we are. The chief of staff will see you now.” The doctor motioned for him to enter a door marked only with this faceless and nameless man’s title. He hesitantly walked in and found a rather sane looking man sitting at his desk.

“Ah Harry, please come in. Shut the door behind you if you would.” The man smiled kindly at him, a smile very much the opposite to what Smiley had on his face at all times. He obeyed the man and took a seat in the chair that was so much more comfortable than his terrible cot in his room. “I am Doctor Cowell.” The man introduced himself with a firm handshake.

“Nice to meet you sir.” He responded, falling into what his upbringing had taught him.

“Well aren’t you a polite one.” Cowell looked at him over the file folder in his hand. Harry got the feeling that this doctor was okay. There were no weird vibes coming from him that he could tell. “As for your treatments it seems that you have a very severe case of depression young man.” Cowell nodded. Harry looked at him confused. He was depressed? Uh since when? Perhaps he was a little moody but that was about it. It was normal teenager stuff. He was still a teenager after all.

“I’m depressed sir?” He asked a little hesitantly and Cowell gave him a very solemn nod.

“Your parents seemed very worried when they first came to me. Talked about wanting to kill yourself and how you would shut yourself away in your room writing poetry. I reassured them that I would help you though and that’s what I’m going to do.” Cowell smiled at him and Harry just frowned. If he could kill them he would, but seeing that he was locked up miles away from any real transport he couldn’t kill his parents.

“What do you suggest sir?” He said through his teeth, gripping the chair tightly in order to keep himself under control.

“We’re going to observe you for a bit. See just how severe your depression is. If we see anything out of the ordinary a think some light shock therapy might help. In the meantime just go about your day. Meet some new people. Some of the patients are quite lovely and you’ll find that the doctors here are very kind as well. Thank you for your time Harry. Paul will show you out.” Cowell finished and he stood, having obviously been dismissed.

The same words kept going around in his mind. Shock therapy? He had heard stories about that where the doctors would strap you to a chair and sent volts of electricity coursing through your body and most likely throw you into a seizure. His face paled at the thought of that. Okay so he definitely needed to blend into the crowd here. He wasn’t sure if he could handle even the idea of being electrocuted.

And who the hell was Paul?

Smiley looked up when he exited. Oh. He was Paul. He was still going to call him Smiley though.

“Finished up there Harry?” Smiley beamed at him and he gave a little nod and resisted the urge to shudder when Smiley’s beefy hand was placed on his shoulder, guiding him back down the hall. “You’re just in time to catch the end of breakfast.” Smiley said happily as he led him down yet a new hallway and a wave of smells hit him and his stomach growled. He hadn’t had dinner last night or lunch in fact seeing as his parents didn’t seem it would be fit to feed him before sending him off to rot. The two came around the corner to a bit open cafeteria where there were round tables everywhere and the room was buzzing. People dressed like Smiley were roaming the tables, heads swiveling to make sure that nothing got out of hand. Smiley showed him the line and he didn’t hesitate to get in it. He didn’t care what they were serving, he was just starving and needed to eat.

“Thirteen. Today is the thirteenth.” The person in front of him muttered to himself. “Thirteen, thirteen, thirteen is a curse. We are going to all die on the thirteenth.” They continued to babble and Harry noticed that they weren’t moving up in the line.

“Hey.” He said, touching the person lightly on the arm. The man jumped and started screaming.

“THIRTEEN! WE ARE GOING T O DIE!” The man grabbed onto Harry with a surprisingly strong grip for such a frail bodyframe and began shaking him hard. He struggled against him in a panic but it was no use. It wasn’t until the orderlies grabbed the man around the middle and yanked him backwards that he finally got loose.

“Nick what did I tell you about this?” One of the orderlies yelled as another ran up with a sinister looking syringe. Soon poor Nick was a boneless heap and the orderlies dragged him off, leaving Harry confused and shaken as he tried to process what had just happened. He went through the line, getting some sort of oatmeal looking stuff and a slice of toast. Well at least it would be filling right?

He looked around for a place to sit and instead was overwhelmed by the sheer mass of people. He finally caught some familiar looking hair and hurried over to the table where the boys he had met last night were huddled around.

“Hey Harry!” Louis said happily and all the others looked up, giving him smiles, minus Zayn of course. He just got another nod from him.

“Um hey, mind if I join you? I just got attacked in the line there.” He said with a little laugh.

“Oh that was you? I was wondering who poor Nick latched onto this time. And he was doing so well too.” Liam said with a little sigh and motioned for Harry to sit in the open chair. He did and dug into his meal, sighing from the feeling of actual food passing through his mouth.

“Do you not eat much or something?” Zayn asked, speaking to him for the first time and Louis whacked him.

“God Zayn! What the hell man?” Louis glared at him and Harry just shrugged.

“I didn’t eat at all yesterday. My parents seemed to neglect me as usual and I missed dinner.” He explained and the boys nodded, Niall handing him half of his toast shyly. “Oh Niall you don’t have to do that. I’m fine with this really.” Harry shook his head but Niall urged him.

“Take it.” Niall said softly and he did, thanking him. He got another shy smile out of the boy and he smiled back. Niall was definitely adorable to say the least. He seemed like a harmless little puppy compared to the rest of the people in here. Harry just hoped that he hadn’t had to deal with the shock therapy he had heard about.

“So Harry. We never did get to hear what got you into this place.” Louis piped up as he gnawed on a piece of toast.

“Nothing’s actually wrong with me.” He said with a little shrug, getting an array of different expressions from the boys. Sympathetic from Liam, confused from Niall, annoyed from Zayn, and just amused from Louis. Liam reached out to pat his arm.

“It’s okay, you can tell us. We don’t judge here.” Liam urged and Harry straightened up over his bowl.

“No really. I got thrown in here because I overheard something about my parents that they didn’t want anyone to hear. So they got rid of me the clean way by saying I was crazy and needed help.” Harry explained, making sure none of the orderlies were around to overhear. He wasn’t sure how they would take that bit from him. The guys still seemed unconvinced. “You’ve guy’s heard about the Styles family right?”

“Oh yeah! Really famous, really rich, weird son.” Louis said happily, everyone else nodding along.

“Hey!” He narrowed his eyes at those words. “I’m that weird son!” He frowned and Louis just shrugged, grinning. But both Liam and Niall’s eyebrows rose in astonishment and Zayn just looked only slightly interested. “But you see! I don’t belong here. I need to get out.” He hissed, leaning forward and Louis just gave a loud bout of laughter.

“Oh Harry do you have things to learn my friend.” Louis snorted, patting him on the back, the rest giving Harry a little shake of the head or in Zayn’s case an actual smile.

“What do you mean?” He asked, leaning back and crossing his arms.

“Don’t you know? No one gets out of High Royds. Ever.” Louis said with a funny little smile on his face and Harry’s heart sunk because if even the patients didn’t think it could be done, it was likely that they were probably right.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is kinda the first chapter that I actually deal with the disorders

Harry quickly found a place in the mismatched group. Though all of them actually had mental disorders, they seemed to be the most sane out of everyone had had seen or met so far. He got used to Zayn’s random angry outbursts about something that came up in the conversation (he also got used to Liam’s constant touching the boy in some way to get him to calm down as to not bring attention to the orderlies). He found Niall’s shyness and sudden nervousness rather endearing and how all the boys comforted him. He even found himself patting Niall when he suddenly looked around with a scared look in his eye babbling about something to do with his clothes and if they would get washed and he didn’t want to sleep in dirty clothes and please someone make sure that he got fresh clothes otherwise he wouldn’t be able to go to sleep at the night. He quickly reassured the lad that the orderlies always got them clean clothes.

He even got used to Louis and how one second he could seem his regular, rather goofy self and the next could be this loud confident person and still again be this shy, meek guy that wouldn’t look at anyone. He quickly found out that the confident side of him preferred the name Lou and the quiet side preferred Will. And he quickly learned that some of the things he told to these alternate personalities of this one boy didn’t always translate to the regular old Louis and he found himself repeating things but he didn’t mind that so much.

He had seen the vulnerable side of all these boys except Liam. He knew that the brown headed boy had massive panic attacks but he had never seen them in action. Not that he was complaining about that. He was pretty sure he would freak out if he saw something like that. But like he always seemed to do, he spoke too soon.

It happened four days into his stint here at High Royds Prison as he had taken to calling it in his head. It had been just a regular day in the lobby during the free time they were given. He and Louis were playing checkers, Louis totally dominating him even if he considered himself a pretty mean checkers player. Niall was sleeping on the couch after Liam had calmed him down about another random bout of sudden anxiety. Liam and Zayn were just talking about something he didn’t really take a particular interest in when suddenly he looked up and saw Liam frozen with a wide-eyed look on his face.

“Oh no…” Louis mumbled and Zayn looked over at Liam who had started shaking, his face now all but drained of color and a sheen of sweat starting to form.

“Shit.” Zayn cursed, looking around wildly, making sure that the orderlies weren’t around. Harry was just confused.

“What’s wrong with him?” He panicked and Zayn just glared at him as he wrapped his arms around Liam and held him close, rubbing his hands up and down the poor boy’s arm. Liam’s eyes had a wide, panicked look in them and his breathing sped up. Harry looked at Louis in concern as Louis moved to block Liam from the orderlies who were standing towards the door as Zayn continued to murmur in Liam’s ear over and over. Louis motioned for Harry to join him in obscuring the view.

“Liam’s having one of his panic attacks. He just gets them randomly for no reason or at least reasons that he won’t tell me. He probably tells Zayn since he’s the only one that can get him to calm down. But we can’t let the orderlies see him, otherwise he might get the shock. Which can set him into another panic attack and it starts a whole cycle.” Louis explained to him softly, his eyes full of concern and were soft and caring. Harry wondered if this was Louis or just another one of his personalities. He looked back over at Liam who seemed to have gotten his breathing somewhat under control but he was clear he was clenching his jaw and gripping Zayn’s shirt tightly.

“How long does this last?” He asked Louis softly who looked back to him with a little shrug.

“Depends. If Zayn’s here then usually only a few minutes, but if he’s not then it can last up to 30 minutes. That’s the worst one I’ve seen.” Louis responded. Damn. Up to 30 minutes? He looked over at Liam who seemed to be coming back, Zayn still murmuring in his head and running his hands through his hair as he clutched the boy to his chest. Though it was a terrible situation, it was rather nice to see Zayn’s vulnerable side that only Liam seemed to be able to bring out.

“What’s this?” A deep voice boomed out and all the boys jumped, looking up at the looming figure above them. It was one of the meaner orderlies.

“Dammit.” Zayn cursed, holding Liam tighter that before.

“What’s wrong with him?” The man asked, gesturing to Liam who was still shaking and trembling all over. “Can you not speak boy?” The man gruffly said as Liam cowered away, his eyes wide eyed once more and his breathing going back to its erratic motion. The man roughly pulled Liam out of Zayn’s arms. “I think some shock will do you some good.” The man grinned a bit cruely. “And I think the doctors will agree.” He finished menacingly.

“You leave him the fuck alone!” Zayn screeched, lunging at the man, hands curled into claws as he scratched violently. The man yelled in alarm and dropped Liam who Louis caught, holding him close as Zayn began beating the orderly viciously, nothing being held back.

“Hey!” The other orderlies caught on and came rushing at the scene. Harry was frozen, not really sure what the hell was going on. The look in Zayn’s eyes reminded him of a cold-blooded killer, hatred seething from every pore of his body it seemed while Liam was shaking harder than ever. The other orderlies rushed over, one carrying a similar looking syringe that he had seen when that guy had started shaking him during his first breakfast.

Zayn growled and began taking on the other buff guys that were way too strong for just one of him and one managed to slip by the swinging arms to plunge the syringe into his arm. Soon Zayn was a crumpled heap and Liam was shaking harder than ever, his breath coming out so fast and in erratic spurts.

“Take him to the infirmary. And take this one to the shock.” One of the orderlies told the others as he wiped off some of the sweat and helped his fallen comrade to his feet. The man that Zayn had initially beat up looked like a bloody pulp and two of the guys dragged him out of the room. Another grabbed Liam roughly and Louis let out a little squeak of resistance but with a glare from the man he quickly shut up and look away, seeming to curl into himself.

Harry was just left stunned at the scene that he had just witnessed. He had never thought Zayn could actually get that angry. Any time that Zayn had started to even get remotely angry, Liam always seemed to bring him back down. It was rather scary to watch Zayn beat up that man with no holding back. He was frankly stunned. He had never witnessed any sort of fight; most of the fights he had seen were verbal or sneaky attacks against another. The rich were too fancy to even consider fist punching.

He looked over at Louis who was curled into a ball and Niall who was just waking up and he felt a little overwhelmed. Normally he had Liam here to comfort everyone but now it was just him with two damaged boys that he wasn’t even sure he could comfort.

“Wha happened?” Niall asked, confused as to why Zayn and Liam weren’t around. “Where did they go?” He asked, sleep clouding his voice but then he suddenly sat up straight, wide-eyed. “Harry where did they go?” He repeated, wringing his hands in a habit that Harry found that he did when he was suddenly anxious.

“Um…” He started until Louis popped in, the curled up ball gone, replaced with what could only be the confident Lou.

“Liam had an attack Niall. And the orderlies saw and tried to take him away and Zayn started beating up the guy.” Louis said softly and Niall’s face crumpled because he seemed to realize what that meant. For starters it meant that Zayn wouldn’t be allowed out in the lobby and Liam would be shocked and probably go into another panic attack without Zayn around.

“Hey. It’s okay buddy. They’re going to be fine.” Harry said soothingly, rubbing Niall’s knee as he curled his legs up to his chest, his eyes still wide.

“No they’re not Harry. You don’t know what the shock is like.” Niall whimpered, shuddering as his eyes shut tightly. “You don’t ever want to go there. Ever.” He whispered, his entire body rocking back and forth with fear. Harry looked over at Louis for support but Louis was just looking at Niall.

“I know Niall. But Liam’s strong and he’ll be fine. And after a few days Zayn will come back too okay? Until then you have me and Harry.” Louis said, his confidence gone but there was still the ever present caring that was in his voice. “You can be strong for Liam and Zayn too, right?” He prompted the boy who nodded and sighed, releasing his legs from his chest, having calmed down slightly.

“You guys won’t leave me?” Niall asked with a little pleading in his voice and Louis shook his head.

“Never.” Louis gave him a reassuring smile.

“I’m not going anywhere.” Harry gave him a little grin and a light poke in the stomach that got a little smile out of the lad.

“Good.” Niall sighed and curled back up on the couch to sleep some more. Harry looked at Louis who mouthed “thank you” and he gave a little nod back. Though he wanted to get out of here so badly, he now knew that he couldn’t without these boys who had quickly let him into their lives. If he was going to get out, he knew he had to take them with him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH THIS CHAPTER!!!! That’s all. You guys are going to like it

It was quiet for a while with just him and Niall and Louis. For two days it was just the three of them, Niall not really talking all that much and Louis switching to his quieter Will side a lot more often. It was like the two boys couldn’t function without Liam or Zayn around. He tried his best though. He got Niall to smile a few times when he told a funny story about at time he had fallen off his horse and got dragged a good 20 yards before someone stopped the dumb animal. He got the normal Louis back when he accidentally splashed himself in the face when he opened his juice.

Zayn came back first. He looked terrible, like he hadn’t gotten sleep at all in the two days that they hadn’t seen him. He saw bruises around his wrists and neck. Zayn didn’t talk much either, mostly sinking into his own thoughts and not speaking at all except for the bare minimum. It was a very sad mood and Harry could rip out his own hair with the terrible heaviness that laid across the entire group and it just made him want to get out more.

When Liam finally came back he looked terrible as well and like he had dropped at least 10 pounds in the four days. He had a slight glazed look in his eye but once he and Zayn finally reunited (the black haired boy finally getting a light in his eye) he perked up.

Harry wanted to ask them about what had happened while they were away but he figured it was best not to push them. They had just gotten each other back after all. He could easily see why they needed each other. Zayn refused to speak to any of them the three days it was just him and just gazed off into the distance and severely depressed, not even trying to fight Louis when he beat him in checkers (again) when before he would protest, saying Louis had cheated (he hadn’t) and put up a fight. Instead he just waved him off and returned to looking out the window.

But now that Zayn had Liam there was actual life in him. It was actually really sweet to see. Now that all of them were together again, it felt right. It was peaceful and actually happy, the dark clouds officially gone and after only a day Liam and Zayn both were starting to look a lot healthier. Even Niall had come out of his shell more and Louis didn’t transition into Will.

Harry gave them a few days to actually ask what happened. But he just had to ask.

Niall and Louis and Zayn all were in the middle of a card game, Harry and Liam both knocked out after only two rounds (and to think he thought he was good at card games). It was then that he asked.

“I don’t mean to be…rude or anything but what happened?” He asked hesitantly and Liam sucked in a deep breath and swallowed hard. “Oh you don’t have to answer, I’m sorry.” He added quickly, afraid that Liam would go into another panic attack from the memory. Liam just shook his head and Harry calmed when Liam turned to him.

“I never saw Zayn at all so I can’t attest to what they did to him because he’s not telling me but this has happened to me before so I guess I was prepared.” Liam shrugged and hugged his knees to his chest. “But you can never really be ready. These people are evil Harry. Remember that.” Liam whispered and buried his face in his knees, and Harry felt a shiver of fear go through him until Liam continued. “First they shock you. Which only sets off a stronger attack. They seem to think electricity can cure any sort of illness. I got shocked four times in four days trying to get me to calm down but it never works. And it’s painful. God it’s so painful.” Liam shuddered and Harry touched his arm slightly, his brow furrowing in concern and horror. “If the shocks don’t work they give you insulin. They make you overdose on insulin which puts you in a coma. I’ve known a lot of people in this place that don’t come back from insulin overdose.” Liam licked his lips and shuddered again.

“Did they give you that?” Harry whispered in horror. He had never heard of the insulin thing, just the shock therapy. He supposed it was because the asylums didn’t want to give away all their secrets to the public. How could this even be legal? But then how could a lot of things be legal? He guessed it was the government turning the other way as long as they got their pocketbooks filled anything could pass under their nose.

“No. Thank god.” Liam breathed. “I managed to calm down enough for them to release me. I kept thinking of Zayn. God his bruises…” He shuddered again and hid his head and Harry wrapped his arm around Liam and hugged him close. “It was because of me.” Liam whimpered and Harry narrowed his eyes.

“Liam it wasn’t your fault at all! It was these terrible people!” He snapped and Liam’s head rose.

“But it is my fault. If I hadn’t had that panic attack he wouldn’t have punched those orderlies and he wouldn’t have struggled against them trying to get to me. I know those bruises are from him trying to get out of that chair.” Liam said weakly and sighed. Harry swallowed. How was he supposed to fight against these people? They had sedatives and electricity and plenty of other ways of torturing those that fought back. He could wind up like one of those that didn’t come back from the insulin induced coma.

“Hey. He’s strong and you’re strong. You can fight this Liam.” Harry shook him and Liam looked up at him with those sad brown eyes.

“That’s the thing Harry, you keep believe you can fight them but you can’t. Not really.” Liam said sadly and Harry grit his teeth.

“Well I’m going to. I’m going to find a way out of this place Liam, a way out for all of us you hear me?” He grit his teeth and Liam sighed but then suddenly froze as he looked over Harry’s shoulder. “Liam?” he asked, confused at the sudden change in the boys demeanor.

“What are you saying boy?” A gruff voice asked and Harry let go of Liam and turned slowly to find two orderlies standing over him.

“Um..what?” He asked, playing innocent.

“Are you going to try escape?” The man asked gruffly again and Harry shook his head fiercely.

“N-no.” He stuttered and the man looked at his partner with a nod. They suddenly grabbed him and he struggled against their grip. “Let go of me!” He yelled, trying to squirm out of their grasps and tried kicking them savagely.

“No Harry! Don’t struggle!” Louis yelled but the advice was little too late and he felt a pinprick of pain then nothing.

*

He awoke in a strange place. It was dimly lit, the only light coming from the window at the top of the wall.

“Harry, Harry, Harry, I really didn’t want to ever see you here son.” He heard a familiar voice coming from behind him. He tried turning but was stopped by something and he looked down in confusion and found himself strapped into a chair, the bonds tight on his forearms, chest, and waist.

“What the…” He mumbled to himself in confusion. He looked up when the figure came around to the front and he finally got to see the face. His eyes narrowed fiercely as he saw Dr. Cowell standing in front of him ominously.

“I can see why your parents thought you had very severe depression. Why on earth would you ever want to leave High Royds? We are here to _help_ you Harry. We aren’t here to hurt you, you silly boy.” Dr. Cowell tutted. “Now seeing as this is your first time here I’m just going to give you a light dosage. Hopefully that will help your thoughts of leaving.” The man said almost kindly, like he really thought he was helping Harry but Harry knew that all this was, was a man relishing hurting others. He should have seen it before but Dr. Cowell seemed so nice and considerate when he first met him!

He tensed up as Cowell patted his cheek lightly and moved behind him to where he assumed was the machine that was hooked up to the wires he now felt on his head.

“Don’t tense up Harry darling. It’ll only hurt worse.” He heard Dr. Cowell say almost sinisterly. It was then that he felt the sudden pain course through his system and he let out an inhuman scream as the electricity meet his body and he arched up in pain, eyes shut tightly as his whole body convulsed. He strained against his bonds, just trying to get away from the terribleness and then….

It was over.

He collapsed back into the chair, his head lolling forward in exhausting, every part of his body pounding. He kept his eyes shut as his body trembled and his breathing rough and ragged.

“There. Now you don’t want to do something silly like escape do you? I’m afraid something worse might happen to you Harry if you go around planting ideas in those poor boys’ heads.” Dr. Cowell said almost kindly.

He raised his head weakly, a glare on his face, his breathing still jagged and pain pounding in his head. He dropped his head back down, wincing in the pain until it grew and grew and then he found himself in black bliss.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah so this chapter is kind of a filler for the next one. But it’s still cute and still got the kinda horror theme.

He woke up in an all white room. It smelled like cleaning fluid and just everything sterile. It almost burned his nose a little bit. He shifted in his bed and winced at the pounding headache that clawed at his brain, giving a pitiful whimper which called attention to one of the nurses. Well…he thought the person was a nurse.

“Hello there. Finally awake I see.” The man smiled kindly at him and Harry squinted his eyes a bit from the bright sun and to try and focus on the man’s face. He wasn’t wearing any outfit he had seen so far on the workers. He had on comfortable pants and just a white undershirt it looked like.

“Who are you?” He croaked.

“I’m Joshua, but you can call me Josh. I’m one of the nurses.” Josh said, still keeping his warm smile on his face.

“Nurse? You aren’t a doctor?” He asked confused, swallowing thickly and Josh reached over to pour him some water which he took gratefully.

“I’m learning to become one at the moment. I know that there isn’t a whole lot of male nurses but it pays well.” Josh shrugged as Harry gulped down the water.

“What are you doing in an insane asylum then?” He muttered, more to himself than anything.

“It was the only place that would take male nurses.” Josh shrugged and Harry nodded. This guy actually seemed okay.

“So you’re okay with them using electricity to shut people up?” He said bitterly, his head still pounding and Josh squirmed a bit.

“Not really, no.” Josh responded quietly after a while and Harry looked up at him in slight shock. Yeah he was really starting to like this guy. “It does work for some, like those with seizures but for people like you who only have depression—“

“I don’t have depression.” Harry cut in quickly.

“The electrical shock does absolutely nothing except perhaps make symptoms worse. If you ask me I saw they were using it as a punishment.” Josh finished at a low whisper and Harry nodded.

“That’s exactly what it is! I need to get out of here Josh. Me and my friends. This place isn’t safe.” Harry whispered as Josh leaned in a bit to hear him. The man jerked back, suddenly nervous.

“Harry I don’t know if I can help you with that. I’m…I’m not supposed to even really talk with the patients.” Josh looked away, fidgeting and Harry sighed. The first person he found that actually didn’t believe in the torture here was a spineless weakling.

“I figured as much.” He sipped his water. “When can I leave here then?” He shifted the subject, Josh looking back at him with an apologetic look in his eyes, like he was sorry that he couldn’t help him. But Harry didn’t need an apology, he needed someone to help him.

“This afternoon.” Josh replied simply and Harry nodded, placing his water on the side table and shifting in his bed, effectively cutting off the conversation. He heard footsteps walk away from him and he sighed softly, closing his eyes against the pounding in his head. If he didn’t watch it, he might actually develop depression.

*

When he woke again it was a softer light in the white, sterile room. He blinked his eyes rapidly to wake himself up. The pound in his head had subsided and he could actually relax without wincing every few seconds.

“Ready to go back Harry?” He heard Josh asked and he shifted up on his bed with a little nod and he swung his legs around to follow Josh out of the room. He was silent as Josh led him around the asylum. He tried to focus to figure out the mapping of the place but his head was still hurting and he just found himself focusing on his feet to keep his eyes away from the sunlight. He felt like he was hung over but he knew that he was the farthest he could be from that. In fact he actually wished he had a hangover at this point. Perhaps that would make him feel a little better about himself. He had a feeling he would have nightmares about that painful experience he never wanted to repeat.

Josh led him into the lobby where everyone else was. He looked around and saw his little group in their normal corner. Louis was distanced from everyone else and Niall looked worn out. Instead of stopping at the door, Josh continued to lead them over to the group like he knew who Harry’s friends were. And perhaps he did. Harry had learned to almost ignore the workers in the short amount of time he had been here. Perhaps Josh had noticed him and he just hadn’t noticed the male nurse at all. They did kind of blend into the background.

As he got closer he saw Louis look up and his saddened face brightened widely.

“Harry!” Louis called out happily, scrambling to his feet and ran to wrap him up in a tight hug. He was a bit taken aback for a moment but he relaxed into the hug.

“Hey.” He breathed as Louis pulled back, worry clouding those blue eyes and he watched Louis knead his lips against his teeth.

“I was worried about you.” Louis said softly, looking him in the eyes. “They didn’t hurt you too badly right?” Harry heard the concern in his voice and he felt his heart squeeze.

“Not too bad. I’m still here right? I’ve just got a bad headache.” He said with a little shrug and turned to the other guys. Niall gave him a big smile, completely changing from his worn out face that he had seen across the room while Liam gave him a look of relief and Zayn actually gave him a smile.

“The headache goes away after a while.” Louis said with a little nod and Harry felt his heart sink after hearing that, knowing that Louis spoke from experience. He couldn’t imagine them going through that after just coming out of it from himself. He was just amazed at how Liam could have gotten through four whole days of that. He could barely handle one.

He looked back at Josh who was still standing there.

“Hey Josh! Did you take care of Harry?” Louis asked and the male nurse gave a little nod. Harry noticed Niall freezing up when he noticed Josh and looked away quickly, a blush forming on his cheeks. He wondered what that as about but then Josh turned to him.

“Well if you’re all settled.” He said but then pulled Harry close to whisper in his ear. “If you want my help see me in the garden.” Josh pulled back and Harry’s eyes narrowed at the cryptic message. He watched Josh give him a solemn nod and turn to leave.

He squatted next to his friends and Liam gave him a sad little smile.

“Glad you’re back okay Harry.” Liam said

“Yeah. It was kinda weird without you.” Zayn said with a little laugh, something totally unlike him.

“I don’t know how you guys do it. Why didn’t you guys tell me Cowell was the one in charge?” He asked and all of the guy’s eyes widened, Niall letting out a little squeak.

“Cowell came to see you?” Louis asked slowly and Harry looked at all of them in confusion.

“Yeah, why?” He asked, looking at all of the boys around him, Niall practically shaking.

“Cowell never sees anyone Harry. Unless you’ve been especially bad.” Liam said softly and Harry’s eyes widened along with the rest of them.

“But…but he didn’t even really do much. He even said that since it was my first time I was getting the lowest dosage.” He sputtered out.

“Consider yourself lucky then.” Zayn muttered, looking away, Liam’s hand wrapping around the boy’s shoulder reassuringly. Harry swallowed. Why would Cowell take such an interest in him? Was it because he wasn’t actually crazy? And he was trying to escape, planting the idea in the four boys around him? He had to assume that was it. He just had to be more careful then.

It was then that the whistle blew for bedtime, a bit early tonight but everyone got up dutifully. He started walking ahead with Louis when Liam grabbed his arm to hold him back.

“Harry.” Liam said and Harry slowed down and turned to look at Liam.

“Yeah?” He asked, a little confused but he allowed himself to walk alongside the boy, waving for Louis to go ahead.

“I just wanted to let you know that Louis was pretty wrecked without you.” Liam said almost sympathetically and Harry bit his lip.

“Really?” He whispered. Liam just nodded.

“He wouldn’t really talk to us that much, sticking to his Will side.” Harry swallowed at that. He knew that Louis’s Will side was the part of him that he hid in when he was feeling sad or vulnerable. It was his shy, quiet side of him and made it hard to talk to him. He was almost like Niall in the fact that he wouldn’t talk much and would almost collapse into himself.

“Why are you telling me this?” He whispered again and Liam shrugged.

“I just wanted to let you know how much Louis has grown to like you. He can be like Niall sometimes. When he gets close to someone he gets really protective of them and has a difficult time when they’re away. Just…if you’re serious about trying to escape remember that. I know you think that people won’t get hurt except yourself if you fail or even succeed but you’re wrong.” Liam said, patting him on the shoulder as they got to Liam’s room. He just gave Liam a numb little wave then turned and walked to his own room, lost in his thoughts.

He had never thought about what he would be leaving behind if only he could get himself out. He never even expected to make friends in this hell hole, yet here he was with someone so dependent on him that they resorted to a shell of themselves. It was both scary and heartbreaking at the same time. Now he really couldn’t just get up and leave, even if he could. People depended on him, people being Louis and probably Niall too considering how terrible the blonde boy looked.

He flopped on his bed and sighed. He would say he regretted making friends but then he would be lying to himself. Already these four people (yes even the brooding Zayn) had wormed their way into his heart. And he couldn’t just leave them. But he also couldn’t stay here.

So he had to find a way to convince them to come with him.

After he figured out to escape of course.

But right now he just wanted to sleep. The genius plan could come later when his head wasn’t throbbing.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really liked this chapter. Good Larry feels. You might hate me for the ending though.

He thought about what Liam had told him a lot before he finally drifted off to sleep, his head still slightly throbbing. He had never really had someone depend so much on him before. With his family he just floated around and stayed in the background unless of course he was supposed to play off the look of a loving, rich family. Then once that was over his parents went back to ignoring him. As for friends…well…they just hung around for the fame and status that came with his last name. He had no real friends, at least until he came here.

In a way it was sort of a blessing that he got dumped at High Royds. He had met four of the greatest guys ever. They were real, unlike the people in the high society of London. There was no façade with them. But he still needed to get out. This wasn’t a safe place, truly.

*

When he awoke to the whistle, he stretched in his creaky bed and slowly rose towards the door that was unlocked each and every morning like clockwork. As he made his way towards breakfast Louis came up to his side, a huge smile on his face.

“Morning Harry!” Louis said happily and Harry gave him a little confused smile.

“Er, morning Lou. What’s got you so peppy?” He asked as he ran a hand through his hair.

“Today’s gardening day!” Louis cheered and then stopped when Harry still had a confused look on his face. “Oh right I forgot, you haven’t had gardening day yet. Once every two weeks we all get to go outside and work on the garden that the less severe patients normally attend to. It’s always my favorite day because I finally get to go outside.” Louis grinned happily and wrapped his arm around Harry’s waist like it was nothing. “And now you get to join me!” Harry couldn’t help but smile at that.

It was nice seeing Louis so happy. He had gotten a few tastes of it every now and again, like when Harry had gotten worked up over a game of checkers that Louis had won. That was the first time he had really seen Louis laugh so hard his eyes got all squinty.

“Well I’m sure I’m going to enjoy it. You’ll show me around right?” Harry asked with a little grin on his face as they got breakfast and Louis nodded enthusiastically.

“Of course!”

*

The garden was really nice, Harry had to admit. It was a lot bigger than the garden he had back in London with his family’s house, or even the estate down in Cheshire that they went to on vacation. Louis had a huge grin plastered on his face along with Liam and even Zayn. Niall just looked nervous and stayed close to Zayn who wrapped his arm around the blonde boy’s shoulder and whispered something in his ear that Harry assumed was something comforting because Niall seemed to relax a bit after that.

“Come on Harry! I gotta show you the best part.” Louis said happily and grabbed Harry’s hand without waiting for an answer. Harry allowed himself to be dragged by Louis as he led him to a less popular part of the garden. Louis dropped his hand and Harry looked at it, open mouthed. It was a little pavilion with tons of flowers climbing the support beams that held the structure up. Butterflies were all over the place and he couldn’t help but smile.

“Wow…this is…this is really beautiful Louis.” He breathed and turned to look at Louis who gazed back at him a bit shyly.

“Not a lot of people come over here. I usually tend to hang around here when we get to go outside.” Louis shrugged and Harry understood. He got that this was a special place for Louis. He felt rather honored that the boy would show him the place he felt most at home in a place that was so far from anything like home at all.

“Thank you for showing me.” Harry murmured and Louis nodded, blushing slightly which Harry found endearing. They sat together for a bit, Harry just watching the butterflies and the flowers swaying lazily in the wind and he almost got the feeling of being at peace. It was nice out here, comforting even. Compared to the world inside High Royds this place was like heaven. He could see why Louis always went to this place.

He was almost lulled into sleep when suddenly a thought jolted through his mind.

Josh.

Was this what Josh meant by that cryptic message last night? This was the only garden after all and if they only got to come outside every two weeks this would be his only chance to find out what the male nurse knew.

“I’m sorry Louis but I really need to use the loo. I’ll be back alright?” He said to the boy who looked like he was about to fall asleep. Louis nodded and Harry got up, quickly finding his way back to where the rest of the people were. He found Josh leaning against the wall in the shade and he made his way over to him. Josh looked up when he got closer and looked around quickly like he was nervous but motioned Harry over quickly and Harry picked up his pace.

“What did you need to tell me?” He asked in a low voice and Josh looked around again before slipping him something into his hand. Harry looked down into his cupped hand and saw a key. He looked back up at Josh in confusion. “What does this open?”

“Anything.” Josh whispered and Harry’s eyes rose in shock.

“Anything?! How did you even get this?” He exclaimed and Josh quickly shushed him. “Sorry.” He muttered before Josh could respond.

“I stole it, that’s how I got it.” Josh hissed quietly.

“Won’t you get in trouble? And how can one key open any lock?” Harry whispered back.

“That’s one of the master keys. They actually have a lot of them but yeah I would get in trouble. Heaps of it. So don’t get caught. Are you going to get the other boys out too?” Josh asked and Harry just sighed.

“They don’t want to even try. I keep trying to convince them that they should but they always just either freak out or tell me to shush.” He sighed again and Josh shrugged.

“Keep the key safe till then.”

“Thanks for this mate. Though…out of curiosity why would you even help me in the first place?” He asked with a little quirk of his head.

“Because you’re the first person I’ve seen here that is actually fighting back. And those boys need it.” Josh said softly and Harry nodded. He knew that the four boys had been conditioned never to try and resist. Perhaps it was all the jolts of electricity they had gotten or just the fact that it was so hard to even try and resist anything, knowing what was in store.

“Thank you for this Josh.” He said softly and Josh gave him a little nod.

“And Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Watch out for Niall, yeah? He’s so innocent, I just…I don’t want anything to happen to him.” Josh said quietly and Harry suddenly got it. He got why Niall had blushed and turned away when Josh came up yesterday. A smile curled onto his lips.

“Of course.” He said and turned away, slipping the key into his pocket. He walked back to where Louis was waiting for him and saw that he was more awake and didn’t want to look at him. His eyes narrowed a bit. “Louis? Is everything okay?” He reached out to touch his arm and Louis jerked away violently.

“Don’t touch me.” Louis hissed and Harry jerked back. What on earth had he done to make Louis act like this?

“Lou what’s wrong?” He asked calmly and Louis slowly turned toward him and Harry was taken aback at the burning in Louis’s eyes.

“How could you?” Louis breathed.

“What did I—“

“You know what you did! I told you not to try and fight them. Now you’re trying to escape! Harry it doesn’t work. Escaping never works, it just gets you beat up and dead. Trust me, I know.” Louis said in a low voice that sent a shudder through Harry. People really died? That was insane. Now he really had to be careful.

“Lou we have to get out of here. I don’t think you realize just how dangerous this place is.” Harry said softly, touching Louis’s arm once again and this time he didn’t jerk back.

“But…I don’t have any place to _go_ Harry. This is the only place I have and it’s really not all that bad.” Louis said quietly, all the anger flowing out of him and he just slumped over, making Harry’s heart tug a bit.

“Louis. I know you don’t think it’s that bad but, these people are really evil. Besides, I can always bring you to my family’s place.” He said softly and Louis didn’t meet his gaze and refused to talk again. So they sat there in silence, a cold chill coming between them, something that had never happened before. It was uncomfortable to say the least and he didn’t really have any idea how to mend it.

When they got back into the building the other three noticed how Louis sat away from Harry, highly unusual since the last few days (well before Harry got taken away) Louis had glued himself to Harry’s side. Liam just gave him a look and Harry ignored it, instead looking out the window, his thoughts more into figuring out how to use his new key that was practically burning a hole in his pocket.

So they sat in an awkward silence with Niall fidgeting a lot until he finally spoke up.

“Okay guys what’s going on? I don’t like this.” Niall said which made everyone look at him.

“What do you mean?” Harry asked and Liam gave him an arched eyebrow.

“Really Harry? Come on, what’s with you and Louis?” Zayn said with a roll of his eyes and Liam nodded along with him. Harry looked over at Louis who still wasn’t making eye contact with him.

“Harry wants to try and escape again.” Louis murmured, looking down at his hands and Harry knew he was in his Will side. Niall’s eyes widened.

“Nononononono Harry you can’t do that. You really can’t, I don’t know what I would do, what they would do to you, please don’t Harry. You can’t leave us.” Niall began speaking, going faster and faster until Liam reached out to hold his hand.

“Niall shh. It’s okay, Harry’s not going to, right?” Liam reassured the boy but the last bit was directed toward him and he squirmed a bit under all the boy’s gazes.

“Uh..right.” He muttered and instantly felt guilty when Louis looked up, his blue eyes bright once again and he felt the coldness between them break. They didn’t need to know that he was lying.

*

It was night. He couldn’t really tell the exact time but he figured it had been at least an hour after they had the whistle called and locked into their rooms. He slowly got out of bed and felt the key in his pocket and fit it into the lock on his door. He did find it rather strange that there was a lock on both sides of the door but this was an older place so he didn’t question it. In fact he was rather grateful. He slowly opened the door and poked his head out into the hallway. He quickly slipped the key into his shoe for safe keeping and padded out of the door, shutting it behind him. He quickly made his way down the hallway towards the exit that he had gone out of into the garden and breathed a sigh of relief when he didn’t meet any guards.

It was rather eerie with no one around to liven it up but he didn’t dwell on it. He just wanted to explore so that he could make an actual plan on a way to get out of the asylum. He planned on finding that train station that was unique to High Royds and was one of the only ways out of the place without a car. He highly doubted he could commandeer a car at a place like this.

He finally made it outside with still no one. He had expected to actually meet some resistant, an orderly or _something_. He crept under the windows, knowing his plain shirt was easily visible in the moonlight. He turned around to look back at the door when he suddenly ran into something solid.

“Well, well, what do we have here?” A deep voice practically purred. He froze, his green eyes going wide as he looked up at the giant, solid man standing in front of him. He took a couple of steps back in fear.

“I uh…” He blabbered and the man just gave a crooked smile, his eyes just oozing evil. The man grabbed him roughly and began dragging him toward the door that he had just left. “Wait! No, please!” He begged, struggling against him and the man just grunted and Harry felt another pinprick on pain in his arm and again, the darkness hit him hard.

*

He woke up to blaring light in his face and he winced, trying to get away but he felt restrains on his arms and chest once again and he quickly jerked awake.

“Ah Harry, awake I see. You’ve been a very naughty boy.” He heard that familiar voice and the owner of the voice moved around so he could lay his eyes on him.

Dr. Cowell.

With the most sinister expression his face.

“Hello again Harry.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like this is kiiiinda my favorite chapter so far. I actually looked up proper torture techniques and let me tell you EW. Like seriously some of the stuff they did was disgusting and gross and totally painful. I went with one of the less painful, called Chinese Water Torture. Anyways let me know what you think and as always, enjoy.

“Hello again Harry.”

He squirmed in his chair as Dr. Cowell moved toward him and he tried to get out but it was a rather pointless struggled against the hard leather that strapped him down. He just got a twisted little smile out of the doctor he had thought was so innocent at first.

“Now Harry, I think you know why you’re here don’t you?” The doctor gave him a little sympathetic frown but Harry refused to comment. Cowell rushed forward and grabbed him by the hair, jerking his neck back and the innocent face was replaced by a full on crazy one. “Answer me.” Cowell hissed.

“Y-yes.” Harry whimpered as he tried to blink back the sudden tears from the pain of his scalp practically being ripped off. Cowell let him go and he sighed in relief.

“Trying to run away is a very serious offense Harry, you know. Though I can’t for the life of me think of why you would even do such a thing. Was someone mean to you?” Cowell asked as he pulled up a stool to sit in front of him. Harry kept his mouth shut and just glared like last time. Was this man serious right now? He had to be crazy.

“Don’t want to talk? Well I suppose that’s understandable. How about a little jolt to get those juices flowing, yeah?” Cowell said almost compassionately. Harry’s eyes just widened with fear, even if he knew deep down what he was going to be getting. Cowell snapped his fingers to some unknown person behind the chair and Harry tensed up, just waiting for the bolts of electricity to come coursing through his limbs. He didn’t have to wait long before he was jerking around, straining against the bonds to just get away from it all and then…just like that it was over. His heart was pounding along with his head which slumped forward, chest moving up and down rapidly.

“I always like a little electricity to get my patients loosened up.” Cowell cut into his thoughts and Harry swallowed, closing his eyes. “So Harry, tell me, why did you try run away?” Harry slowly raised his head at that, and put in his iciest look.

“Because you people are monsters.” He hissed and Cowell frowned, looking genuinely hurt at that.

“Monsters? Oh Harry I think it’s _you_ that are the monsters.” Cowell grinned sinisterly and leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs and placing his hands on top of his knees.

“What do you mean?” He asked, coughing a bit to clear his throat and Cowell just sighed.

“Don’t cough on the chair son. Don’t want the other patients getting sick.”

“Oh glad to know you think of our well being.” Harry spat back.

“I do care Harry. I’m not sure why you can’t get that through your obviously messed up head. Now what was I saying? Oh right, monsters. Harry I don’t think you realize how truly messed up everyone is in here. Take your dear friend Louis for instance.” Harry’s eyes widened at Louis’s name. He didn’t think Cowell actually paid attention to who he hung out with and he felt a sudden need to protect Louis.

“You leave Louis alone.” Harry hissed and narrowed his eyes with all Cowell did was laugh.

“Oh Harold you have so much to learn. I think a few days in here will do you some good.” Cowell nodded and stood before walking closer to whisper in his ear. “No one can get away from me.”

It was the last thing he heard before jolts of electricity coursed through his body an almost inhuman scream came out of his throat before he finally and blissfully passed out.

*

He woke again, still strapped to the same chair, his neck slumped forward. He groaned as he tried to stretch out the kinks in his muscles on his neck to no avail. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking the sleep out of them, though extremely difficult without the use of his hands. It was lighter in the room, though still pretty dark and it kind of liked it darker because that meant he couldn’t see the…well instruments of torture.

It almost reminded him of pictures of medieval times with the knives and the axes and just everything sharp and metal hanging on the wall. He was pretty sure if he got a closer look then he would see that most of the instruments had rust on them. All the more reason to get the hell out of here.

He looked up and winced at the light sudden shown into the room as the door opened. He could feel a metallic taste in his mouth that he hadn’t noticed before and really wanted something to drink.

“Ah Harry! You’re awake. Oh good.” He heard the voice that he was learning to despise. He already hated it, but he was getting to that point to where any time he heard it he just had a desire to lunge at Cowell’s throat and just throttle him until he could never speak again. “Would you like some food? Water?” Cowell asked kindly and Harry quickly made up his mind to not take this man’s food. He wasn’t going to take anything that he gave him. Cowell held up the tray with a cup of water and food that smelled heavenly but he just shook his head and Cowell just shrugged.

“Suit yourself. So today I thought we might try something else.” Cowell smiled kindly, a smile that Harry now knew was for from kind. “I usually save this for my more…difficult patients. You are quite a head-strong young lad you know. But I will break you. Don’t worry. See you tomorrow Harold.” Cowell gave him a sinister smile and motioned again for people behind Harry to come forward. He braced himself for more electricity but none came. Instead a large orderly came forward and strapped down his head to the chair and moved something over the chair. He tried to look up but couldn’t with the strap.

Suddenly he was blindfolded and he struggled again, not really enjoying his vision being taken away. “Hey!” He protested and just got a slap form the orderly’s large hand. He hissed in pain and kept his mouth shut from then on. He tried to figure out just what the hell was going on. He heard rustling around then the door closing. “Hello?” He called out and of course got no answer. “Am I alo—“ He started but was cut off by a sudden drip of water on his forehead. His eyes scrunched in confusion. Water? Really? Was that the big torture thing?

He flinched at the next drop of water and tried to determine when the next one would fall. But he quickly found out that it was sporadic. He could never tell when the next drop would come and each and every time he would flinch. After nearly wearing himself out trying to scoot the chair or kick the water thing that was above his head he just collapsed, resigning to the endless night of random water droplets.

He kept hearing the random drip in his mind over and over and over and over and over. He felt it drip down his cheek and soak his hair and wet his neck. He felt it drip down his back and he wanted so badly to wipe away the water. He wanted so badly to move, so much that he was practically shaking whenever he finally heard the door open. He took a deep intake of air and tried to collect himself but he found that that was impossible.

He winced whenever the blindfold was untied and he blinked, knowing he looked like shit. He flinched again whenever the water dropped and his eyes shied away from Cowell’s gaze that was right in his face.

“How was your sleep Harry? Did you get any at all? Poor boy.” Cowell patted his head and moved the water tower that was over his head and he found himself sighing in relief. No more water. Ever.

“Please…”He croaked softly, his voice cracking and Cowell’s eyebrows rose and another sinister smile curled onto his lips.

“Oh so you’re ready to talk now?” Cowell grinned and pulled up a chair. “Let me hear your wisdom.” Harry still didn’t meet his gaze. He still heard the dripping of the water tower in the corner and winced each time he heard the drop hit the ground.

“I promise to not try to leave again.” He whispered softly, beating himself up inside because how the hell could he be so weak to give in so easily? What happened to being strong? But really why was he trying to leave? These people could be pretty nice, as long as he followed the rules. It wasn’t like they took people just because they looked at an orderly wrong. Why was he trying to escape in the first place? His family hated him, the world he grew up in hated him. He had friends here, he was liked here and he got his own bed and pretty good food and he could do whatever he wanted. He could say whatever he wanted, he didn’t have to be perfect all the time.

So what was really so bad about this place?

“That’s a good boy.” Cowell patted his head and got up and made to leave the room.

“Wait! Aren’t you going to let me out?” He called out in a panic and Cowell turned slowly and shook his head.

“I like to make sure that my patients are serious before I let them back in with the rest of the people. Don’t want you getting those crazy ideas back in your head. So I think another day with my favorite friend here will do you well Harry.” Cowell winked. He _winked_ , like he knew what he was doing and enjoyed every second of it.

He felt the bandana go around his eyes again and he started shaking once more. He couldn’t take another minute of that damn water, never mind a whole day and night with it. After that first droplet he bit his lip, wanting to cry so badly but he had at least one shred of dignity left in him. He would not cry. He would not give in all the way. He could do this. He could deal with the irregular drip, drip, drip, and the water falling down his cheek, his neck, his back, his arm, his leg, his everything. He felt like he was drowning but it was just a little droplet. A part of his mind knew that, the tiny bit of his mind left that was rational. But mostly his mind was all over the place. He couldn’t focus to save his life and the only thought that kept running through his mind was begging for it to stop. Just please make it stop.

It finally stopped though, and his blindfold was taken off. He hadn’t even heard the door opening. He was shaking again and a cold sweat was coating his skin, but then again that could be the drips of water.

“Can I please leave now?” He begged, his voice cracking from the lack of use and Cowell just grinned.

“I told you I would break you Harry. Go ahead. Paul will lead you back to the room. But just remember, another stunt like that and I’ll have to use something worse on you, and I have a lot of ideas of what that can be.” Cowell grinned at him and Harry shuddered as Smiley undid his straps and he got shakily to his feet, almost falling over but catching himself just in time.

“You can lean on me Harry if you need it.” Smiley smiled wide at him and he shuddered again. He’d rather crawl back than do that. He shook his head and managed to get his legs to work again after sitting for three whole days. He wiped off his forehead and still heard the drip ringing in his ear. Thank god Smiley didn’t talk to him though. That would be worse than the constant dripping in his ear. They walked back in silence, and for once he wasn’t trying to figure out how to navigate the hallways. He just wanted to see his friends again. He wanted to lay down on a couch and just collapse.

They finally made it to the big room which was a good thing because he wasn’t sure if he could walk any farther without collapsing and wow that would be embarrassing. He leaned against the door frame and he looked around the big room until he locked onto his group in that same corner. He sighed in relief and began walking toward them, leaving Smiley behind.

He had been gone longer this time and this time everyone looked wrecked. Niall’s eyes kept flitting back and forth, his hands moving nervously. Zayn and Liam were sitting closer than ever, their whole sides against each other. Zayn looked moody and both of them looked like they hadn’t gotten any sleep, Liam looking exhausting probably trying to keep everyone together.

And Louis. Well Louis was just curled up on the couch, looking out the window with such a blank stare, not meeting anyone’s gazes. He could see from here how dull those normally bright blue eyes were and that probably hurt him the most.

It was Niall who saw him first and he sat up quickly. “Harry!” Niall squeaked out and Zayn and Liam looked up. Louis didn’t do anything which was strange. Niall got up and ran over to hug him tightly. “I thought we had lost you. You can’t leave us Harry, you really can’t okay? You’re part of us now.” Niall whispered fiercely and Harry hugged him back tightly.

“I’m sorry Niall. I’m so sorry.” He whispered back and Niall still hung onto him as he walked over slowly to the other boys.

“You’re alive.” Zayn said, his eyes actually brightening. “We were all afraid that you were a goner.”

“Zayn!” Liam hissed and his eyes looked over at Louis who still wouldn’t look at him. “So what did they give you?”

“Um…the shock the first day. But then the next two days they did…they did that water torture thing.” Harry started as he collapsed on the couch, his bottom lip trembling a bit as all the boys gasped, minus Louis of course. “I can still hear it. I can still _feel_ it.” He whispered, and squeezed his eyes shut, that drip still present in his hearing. He still could feel it dripping down his body and he just wanted it to go away.

“Oh Harry.” He heard Louis murmur and his eyes shot open and he looked at Louis who was actually looking at him. The blue eyed boy suddenly wrapped him up in a tight hug which he gave back just as tight. His eyes closed again as one tear slipped down his face. Whenever Louis let go he felt the boy’s fingertip brushing his cheek, wiping away the tear. And they just sat in silence, all five of them just thankful that he was safe and awake and not damaged…at least not too badly.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DON’T HATE ME PLEASE!

Drip, drip, drip

Harry was trying to fall asleep.

Drip, drip, drip

Harry was tossing and turning.

Drip, drip, drip

Harry was most definitely hearing things.

Drip, drip, drip

Harry was feeling phantom things too.

Drip, drip, drip

Drip, drip, drip…drip.

“Wow Harry. You look like utter shit.” Zayn said as they got together over breakfast. Harry looked up from his bowl of oatmeal and then looked back down.

“Maybe because I feel like utter shit.” He muttered as he scooped some food into his mouth. It felt thick and nasty in his mouth and he had a tough time swallowing it. He pushed the bowl away and leaned forward to rest his arms on the table and place his head in his arms. Even when there was noise he could still hear the dripping. He could still feel the cool water running down his cheek and he still flinched every time he heard the sound constantly loop in his mind. He knew it was in his mind. He did at least know that but he just wished it would go away.

He jumped at the feeling of a hand on his back and he shied away a bit until he saw that it was Louis who was looking at him with concern.

“You okay?” Louis asked softly and Harry sighed. A part of him wanted to just suck it up and pretend like he was fine but then he remembered that these boys had all gone through similar things that he had. There were no secrets between them.

“No…not really.” He murmured and Louis wrapped him up in a hug like he had done last night. He tensed a bit but soon relaxed into the strong grip. When Louis let him go he looked into those blue eyes and saw nothing but compassion.

“We’re here for you Harry. You’re one of us now you know.” Louis grinned, bumping his shoulder.

“Yeah Harry. We stick together.” Liam gave him a warm smile and Zayn and Niall nodded. He gave them a faint smile.

“Thanks.” He said softly, silent the rest of the meal until they were released into the lobby once again. He noticed their side-long concerned looks but he didn’t say anything about them. He just looked out the window, his knees curled up to his chest with his head resting on top of them. It wasn’t that he couldn’t talk, it was just that he didn’t want to. He just needed a bit to recuperate on his own even if that meant he kept hearing the drip, drip, drip. He was like this for a few days but each day got better and better. He still didn’t eat much, only eating when Louis or Liam told him to but even then it was the bare minimum. He just wasn’t hungry anymore. He found himself slowly smiling again, getting his normal, positive personality back and each time he laughed he saw Louis’s triumphant grin and that made him happy, it really did.

He was still scarred though. His dreams always included the sound of the water. He would wake up screaming, the sound echoing around the wooden walls. He wasn’t even sure what he was screaming sometimes but flashes of his dreams would haunt him at all hours. Cowell’s face morphing slowly in his minds eye into something grotesque and hideous that would prowl around his chair like it was stalking him, just waiting for the moment to strike. That was the worst one probably.

It was safe to say he didn’t get much sleep for a while.

After a week he was finally better, at least he thought. He would only hear the drips when it was too quiet or he would zone out. He didn’t ever hear them when Louis was around though. It was like Louis was his comfort blanket just like Zayn and Liam were for each other. It was nice and sometimes Louis would hum softly when he would suddenly flinch, like he knew that he felt the drip of phantom water on his head.

It was going great after two weeks. But of course, nothing could stay happy and safe for long though.

They were at dinner, eating and laughing over a joke that Niall had finally worked up to courage to say and the blonde lad was beaming with happiness because they enjoyed it so much.

“You know Nialler, you’re very funny. Why don’t you tell us more jokes more often?” Harry asked as he bit into his bread and Niall just shrugged, blushing a little.

“I’m afraid you guys won’t like them and then I’ll get all embarrassed.” Niall said in his soft voice that was so him.

“We’ll love them Niall.” Liam nodded and all the boys agreed. Harry was about to bring his fork to his mouth, his appetite having returned a few days ago, when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He froze and jerked away a bit before looking up and breathing a sigh of relief whenever he saw that it was Josh.

“Hey guys.” Josh smiled at the group of five.

“Hey Josh.” The boys chimed back, all having known the kind and patient male nurse from their stints at the infirmary. Harry snuck a glance at Niall who had made a little squeak and began blushing harder than Harry had ever seen and ducked his head into his food so that he wouldn’t have to make eye contact with Josh.

“Hey Harry do you mind if I talk to you really quick?” Josh asked, and Harry looked up at him in surprise and almost dread, his face paling a bit.

“Er s-sure.” He stuttered a bit and rose to follow Josh around the corner. “What’s wrong?” He asked, automatically assuming that something bad had happened.

“Did they ever find the key?” Josh asked bluntly.

“No, I had it in my shoe the entire time and when I got back I hid it in my room.” He replied slowly, a bit confused.

“Well that’s some good news then.” Josh muttered and Harry’s eyes narrowed.

“What do you mean?”

“They’ve realized a key is missing and I’m pretty damn sure they know I took it.” Josh hissed and Harry’s eyes widened.

“What would they do to you?” He whispered

“At the minimum? Probably fire me. But knowing this place it would be worse…a lot worse.” Josh sighed, closing his eyes as he massaged his temples. “And…I can’t leave Niall. I know he doesn’t show it but I’m pretty sure he’s dependent on me at least a little and you know how that gets.”

“Do you…do you love him? I mean have you two…I mean…” Harry asked, slowly and Josh looked up.

“Yeah. I mean I love him, not that part. He was my first patient and he’s just so sweet and innocent and he just latched on you know? I mean..we’ve kissed but that’s about it. No one knows though so keep that quiet.” Josh’s lips curled into a tiny little smile and Harry knew how that felt.

“Of course. But…what are you going to do if they find out?” He asked and Josh just sighed.

“I don’t know okay? Godammit I should have never given you that key in the first place.” Josh groaned and Harry swallowed guiltily.

“Yeah. You probably shouldn’t have.” He muttered sadly.

*

Harry sort of forgot about the conversation after a week. Three blissfully perfect weeks, at least as perfect as they could be in an insane asylum. He wasn’t bugged, and neither were any of the other boys. Nothing but happiness and Harry could actually get used to this. He learned to become better at checkers after Niall showed him a few good tips and Liam taught him how to play chess which he was surprised he hadn’t picked up sooner because soon the student was beating the teacher which made Liam pout and Zayn to chuckle and hug Liam to make him smile again.

He got to go out into the garden again and he and Louis showed him how to make a crown out of flowers and they placed them on each other’s heads and just leaned against each other, Harry tracing the tiny bones in Louis’s delicate hand while Louis told me stories about his four sisters he missed a lot at home. Harry told him funny stories of the rich society where he used the snooty, stuffy accent that he and everyone else associated with the high and might at the top of the top.

He told Louis about the thing that he overheard that got him thrown into the asylum, something he hadn’t told anyone else before.

“So really it was all about money? Are you serious?!” Louis exclaimed and Harry shrugged and nodded.

“Yeah pretty much. They were losing money so they were planning on stealing from others with some big scheme thing. Truthfully I didn’t really understand it but they don’t trust me because…well because I’m not like them.” Harry sighed as he ran his fingers through Louis’s hair.

“How are you not like them?” Louis asked innocently. “I mean I know you’re different but I want you to tell me.” Harry laughed.

“Hmm well for starters I sometimes dress like a slob. I don’t really enjoy fancy clothes.” He contemplated after a while.

“You don’t like fancy tuxedos and pretty ladies on your arm?” Louis teased and Harry chuckled.

“Not particularly. Tuxedos are quite tight fitting.” He winked and Louis giggled.

“I think you would look good in a tuxedo.” Louis nodded and Harry raised an eyebrow.

“Oh? And why’s that?”

“Because you’re so tall and skinny! You’d just be one long line. Like a beanpole.” Louis grinned

“I am not that skinny! I have muscle!” He scoffed and made a muscle with his arm for good measure. Louis wrapped on hand around his arm and squeezed a bit. He looked up at Harry with those bright blue eyes.

“Not bad, not bad. You’re still a beanpole though.” Louis winked and Harry opened his mouth to make a retort when he heard screaming. Louis jumped up, Harry not far behind and they ran out of their little shelter towards the main group. What they found was a bit shocking.

“No please, please, please, don’t make me go!” Niall pleaded as the orderlies dragged him towards the back entrance.

“Let go of him!” Josh screamed, struggling hard against the two strong orderlies on either side of him. Harry gasped and Louis made a move that looked like he was going to try and help them. Harry grabbed him roughly.

“Let me go Harry.” Louis said lowly, his eyes dark with rage, something he had never seen before but he didn’t let go.

“No Louis. You’ll just make it worse and then you’ll get the shock too.” He said roughly and Louis still struggled to get out his grip and he had to tackle him to the ground. “Louis stop!” He hissed and Louis just snarled at him, still trying to squirm out from under him. Another pair of hands joined his and Harry looked up quickly and saw Zayn helping while Liam rushed over to help as well.

“Tom. It’s okay.” Zayn said in a soothing voice that he normally used for Liam. Something shifted in Louis and he stopped struggling.

“What happened?” Louis asked and Harry breathed a sigh of relief.

“Yeah, what did happen?” Harry asked Zayn and Zayn closed his eyes, sitting back on his feet.

“They took Niall. I have no idea why.” Zayn whispered and Louis’s eyes widened again. Harry tensed up just in case he got violent again but he didn’t, he just seemed to go limp and Harry knew he was Will instead of Louis. Those dull blue eyes told it all.

“Niall…” Louis whimpered and Harry bit his lip. What was going to happen to the poor boy?


	9. No More

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don’t kill me or yeah. I love you guys. This is a continuation of Chapter 8 and it's just Niall and Josh.

He was scared. He had been dragged out from the little row of cabbages he had been attending with no warning and he had no idea what was going on.

“What did I do?” He whimpered and the orderlies just gave him a creepy smile and he could feel himself hyperventilating. He didn’t’ want to get the shock again. It had been so long since he had but he could still remember the pain of it vividly.

The orderlies threw him into the room and he saw Josh standing there, orderlies holding onto both arms so tightly his skin was white.

“Josh? What’s going on?” He asked, knowing his eyes were wide with fear. His mom always said he looked like Bambi when he got afraid and that was okay he guessed. Bambi was nice and cute.

“Niall I’m so sorry about this. Please forgive me.” Josh pleaded and Niall looked at him confused. What did Josh do? He was suddenly dragged into the chair that loomed in the middle of the room and he let out a scared little shriek as he was strapped down. He didn’t struggle too much because he knew that if you struggled you made it worse for yourself but he couldn’t stop shaking.

“Hello Niall. Haven’t seen you in a while.” He shook harder at the sound of Cowell’s voice.

“P-please I didn’t do anything.” Niall whimpered and Cowell gave him a sympathetic face.

“You’re right, you didn’t, but Josh here did a very naughty thing. Do you know what that was?” Cowell asked in a kind voice and Niall shook his head roughly. He looked over at Josh who was glaring hard at Cowell.

“Would you care to explain Josh or should I?” Cowell turned towards Josh who was still struggling against the rough hold of the two men.

“Niall please.” Josh looked at him with the saddest face ever and he kind of wanted to hug him which he almost never did but he couldn’t because of the straps. “This has nothing to do with him!” Josh yelled at Cowell who just gave a cruel little smile.

“Oh Joshie this has everything to do with him.” Cowell turned back to Niall. “You see Niall, Josh stole something very precious to this hospital and he needs to be punished and for a while I couldn’t figure out how but then a little birdy told me that you like him and he liked you! Hope you don’t take it too hard.” Cowell pursed his lip and motioned for the orderlies to bring Josh forward. Niall just watched with wide eyes as Josh dragged his feet on the floor, still struggling but even Niall could see the struggles were getting weaker and weaker.

“Now I’m going to kill two birds with one stone here. Oops, did I say kill? That was unsophisticated of me. Anyways Josh you are going to kiss Niall and we are going to get that disgusting gay out of both of you. Oh and Josh, just remember, you brought this upon yourself.” Cowell winked and pulled up a stool to watch, legs crossed and hands on his knees.

Niall looked up at Josh who looked at him and he could see the tears sparkling in his eyes. “Niall I’m so so so sorry.” He heard Josh whisper.

“Well get on with it!” Cowell barked and Niall heard Josh give a soft little sob as he closed the distance between the two of them and then Niall felt Josh’s lips on his and it was really nice but then….

He felt the pain course through his body and he screamed and squeezed his eyes shut as tears instantly sparked in his eyes and coursed down his cheeks. He couldn’t feel Josh anymore but soon the pain was over, leaving him sobbing and breathing hard and shaking.

“No more please.” He cried and Cowell just laughed.

“Oh Niall, just one shock isn’t going to make those homosexual feelings just jump out of you. Again.” Cowell ordered and he cried harder, barely feeling Josh’s lips on his before the pain was back and he was jerked around, his body out of his own control and he could hear himself screaming but it almost sounded like someone else.

When it stopped he was a whimpering, crying mess. He couldn’t look anywhere but the ground and he could only hear the pounding in his head. He just wanted it to stop, he wanted to curl into a ball and just disappear into the nice, safe place of his mind but he couldn’t do that in this dim place of hell.

“Again.” Cowell said and Niall began to beg, just blabbering words over and over but then he heard Josh crying. “Again Josh.” Cowell said forcefully and Niall felt the lips that he hated and the pain and the jerking around and the screaming that he was sure wasn’t his anymore. It sounded too in pain like a wounded animal who was being torture over and over again but wait…wasn’t that what was happening to him? He didn’t know, he was just crying and screaming for it to stop and it finally did.

“Have you learned you lesson you two?” Cowell asked and Niall was sobbing so hard he almost didn’t catch it. “I’m sorry? I didn’t catch that Niall.” Cowell prompted him to speak.

“Y-yes.” He finally got out and he stared at the floor. He never wanted to feel those lips again. He just wanted to…and finally there was blissful silence and he felt himself sinking down and down. Finally…alone.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has trigger warnings so please be careful. This is mainly a filler chapter but it does have some good background on one of the boys (:

Niall was gone, Louis wasn’t talking and Harry was silently freaking out. He was almost used to the orderlies taking away patients that misbehaved but he had never seen them drag of someone that was so obviously doing nothing wrong. And he had a sinking feeling that he knew why.

“Outside is over!” One of the head orderlies barked and blew the whistle, the patients moving towards the back entrance in an orderly line. He gripped Louis’s hand tightly and dragged him towards the middle of the crowd. He kept a tight grip, making sure not to let go.

The group minus one met back in the normal corner, Louis still not really talking, Liam trying hard to keep his breathing normal and Zayn rubbing his back murmuring things in his ear. Harry turned towards Louis.

“Will?” He asked softly and Louis looked up.

“Where did he go Harry?” Louis asked in a small little voice. He swallowed at that, unsure what to actually say to that.

“He’s going to be okay Will.” Zayn interrupted and Harry’s eyes flitted to him. He had to hand it to Zayn, even though he didn’t really seem like the type to take charge, he was quite good at it while Harry on the other hand was apparently crap at it. “Why don’t you just lay on the couch?” Zayn suggest and Louis nodded, crawling up onto the plush couch and curled into a tight little ball. Harry moved over closer to Liam and Zayn, Liam calming down considerably but looked more exhausted than he had seen him in regular setting. “You lay down too Liam.” Zayn murmured and Liam sighed in relief, obviously glad that he fought off the panic attack. Liam took the other couch and he and Zayn sat down on the ground.

“What do you think happened to Niall?” Harry asked softly and Zayn looked at him with a sad expression.

“He probably got brought in to torture someone else. Josh maybe. Niall’s never done anything wrong. Ever. The one time that he got brought in before was because we couldn’t get him to calm down at that was towards the beginning of his stay before he really trusted us.” Zayn explained.

“So you know about him and Josh?” Harry whispered and Zayn nodded.

“Of course. I just can’t imagine why they would choose now to bring that up. Even if it was just a harmless little relationship. Niall’s too innocent and anxious to try anything more than a kiss.” Zayn rubbed his forehead. “I’m just scared of what Cowell will try on him. It took us forever to get him to talk and interact with us.” Harry ducked his head at that. This never would have happened if he hadn’t asked for Josh’s help. He felt the guilt rush through him and he got a sick feeling to his stomach. What would happen if the others found out that he was the one that really got Josh in trouble? He leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes.

*

Niall came back to the group the next day. But it wasn’t Niall, not really. He looked like he was crumpled in on himself. His normally blue eyes that sparkled even when he was too nervous to talk were dulled and didn’t meet any of their gazes.

“Hey Niall.” Liam said hesitantly as Niall sat down on his normal couch. Liam reached out a hand to lightly place it on his knee and Niall shied away from the hand that normally he had no problem with. Liam brought his hand back slowly. Harry bit his lip and looked at Louis who seemed to perk up a little bit with Niall’s return.

“Did they hurt you a lot Niall?” Louis asked softly, Harry slipping his hand in his and Louis seemed okay with it, even squeezing back a bit. It was Louis this time, not any other personality.

Niall looked up at the sound of Louis’s voice. Blue met blue and they held gazes before Niall turned away and did an almost imperceptible nod. Harry’s heart tugged at that. What kind of evil person would hurt someone as innocent as Niall? He never hurt anyone.

“Was it Josh?” Harry found himself asking before he even realized what he was doing. Niall’s eyes widened and he burst into tears. He leaned over to hug Niall tight, the boy even going so far as to wrap his arms around Harry. “Shh it’s okay Niall. Josh didn’t mean it. He loves you.” He murmured and Niall froze at those words and Harry let him go in confusion.

“No.” Niall said shakily. “No, no, no, no. He does NOT love me.” Niall hissed and Harry looked at him in shock. He had never seen Niall act this way. “Josh is a monster and he hates me. He’s the reason I got shocked and I never want to see him again.” Niall seethed and the other boys looked at him with open mouths as he stood and walked away. Harry looked back at the other who had his same expression.

“Should we go after him?” He asked and Zayn shook his head.

“Give him time. Just a word of advice though, don’t mention Josh for a while.” Zayn said dead-panned and Harry nodded, still in shock.

*

Niall stayed away from them for almost a week. He would just sit in the corner and stare out the window.

“Was he like this last time?” Harry asked after the third day.

“Yeah. It’s worse this time though. They must have really done a number on him.” Liam sighed. “This is even worse than when Zayn was trying to relap—I mean uh..” Liam started but quickly stopped and Harry looked at him.

“What?” He asked and Liam shook his head.

“I shouldn’t say. It’s not my place.” Liam refused and Harry looked at him hard.

“What was it Liam. I’m a part of this group now. I deserve the right to know.”

“He was going to say when I was trying to relapse.” Zayn interrupted from behind them and Harry jumped but quickly recovered.

“Relapse from what?” He asked, his mouth speaking before his brain could catch up. “Er I mean…”

“It’s okay. You’re right, you do deserve the right to know.” Zayn sat down next to him. Liam got up to join Louis at the table, leaving it just him and Zayn. “Before I came here you have to understand that I was angry at practically everything. Anything would set me off and though I’m bipolar I was mainly just angry because my family was never there for me. They didn’t get that I couldn’t control my mood swings. So I began to…well to cut.” Harry’s eyes rose as Zayn pulled up his sleeve and he saw the faded scars that criss-crossed his entire forearm.

“But why—“

“Because I liked the way it felt I guess. It was something that I could control and sometimes it was one of the only things that could calm me down when I got really worked up. I didn’t have anyone like Liam, Harry. I only had people that were confused as to why I could flip a switch and go from happy to angry then to sad. They didn’t get that.” Zayn explained and Harry swallowed.

“Did it hurt?” He asked softly and Zayn shrugged.

“Sometimes. At first, yeah, but then I got used to it. It’s a bit sadistic of me I guess but I liked seeing the blood. It reminded me that I was human and that I could make mistakes even when I’m surrounded by a family that strove to be perfect.”

“I know how that feels.” He muttered. “But what did Liam mean about relapse?”

“I was still cutting when I came here. I was dependent on it and suddenly I couldn’t do it anymore. There were not sharp things around here. So I was angry and bitter all the time, not just for being thrown in here but because I couldn’t escape by cutting. Liam understood that when he caught me tearing at my skin with my fingernails and he saw the scars. So he helped me with that. It was hard for sure and had I not been trapped in here I probably would have relapsed even with his help, but you have no choice but come clean.” Zayn finished and Harry looked down. It seemed the more and more he got to know these four boys the more things were unearthed that he could have never expected.

“But you’re okay now right?” He asked slowly.

“I’m better yeah. Sometimes I have the urge but it’s weaker now. I just distract myself and it goes away.” Zayn shrugged.

“I had no idea…” He murmured.

“Well how could you? You may not know it Harry, but we all have gotten very good at hiding things. We have to, to survive in this place. You’d be wise to remember that.” Zayn said seriously and Harry gulped and nodded. “This is not a place where you can go running back to mummy. They will eat you alive if you put your guard for one second and let them know your weakness. And trust me; you do not want that to happen.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FLUFFFFFFFFFF omg fluff. God. Almost sick to my stomach at how fluffy it is. Yeah so this is a nice little break from the horror right? You’re welcome. I expect showers of thanks

Harry wondered about what Zayn said for the next week. What was his weakness? Perhaps it was that urge still lurking underneath his conscious to escape this place. Perhaps it was the fact that he knew he wasn’t actually crazy but was secretly afraid of becoming it. But deep, deep down inside him, the part that only showed its face in the darkest time of the night he knew what his true weakness was.

Louis.

When he was curled up into a little ball, trying desperately to fall asleep underneath the too thin sheet for this time of year, he thought about Louis a lot. He could close his eyes and pretty much map out his face, laugh line for laugh line. He knew how to tell when he switched into different personalities and that blank look on his face when he told him something he had told one of the other personalities, the rare Lou perhaps, and that information didn’t transfer over to his true personality. He knew when to hold him and when to sit just so that they were barely brushing shoulders.

It was quite strange to him really. He had never really been close to someone in this sort of way. Sure he had moved around but he had never stuck around someone for this long. Of course in this place there was no choice but even here it was different. Before he got bored easily and would just brush them off. A regular heartbreaker, but with Louis he found himself not even coming close to being anywhere near bored.

Louis was a conundrum to him. He could never be sure what he would do and it was so different than anyone else he had ever met. He had grown up in the stuffy life of the distinguished. Everything he was supposed to do in his life was pre-written like a text book. He was supposed to find a boring girl with lots of money, marry her, get said money, have three+ kids, and die a stuffy old man with nothing but his money and if he was lucky, a name to remember him by. He had seen it so many times in so many places and in a way this asylum was a haven for him. No one expected him to come back and follow in the footsteps of so many before him. His name was tarnished and for that he was glad. It meant that he could actually make his own life, if he ever got out of here of course.

He still had nagging thoughts of leaving. He acted like he was past all of that but he really wasn’t. A part of him was still watching and calculating. He realized now that his first attempt was reckless and yeah he paid drastically for it. Now he was slowly figuring out a plan. He got the schedule down, he figured out the orderlies and guards personalities. He knew the plan of the hospital backwards and forwards or at least the way to get out. Every time he got to go out into the garden he was looking around for hiding places. It was almost like he was a man looking for water after being in a desert. He had refused to do anything for weeks but after Niall his spark had returned.

Now he was sitting with the boys, Niall finally coming back over with them but wasn’t saying much. Zayn had his nose in a book and Liam was running his hands through his hair. It was raining and the tapping of the raindrops on the windows was actually really soothing. Harry found his eyelids drooping a bit before he felt a poke in his side.

“You dropping on me Styles?” Louis looked at him with a little grin on his face. He shifted up where he sat on the worn couch.

“Maybe.” He mumbled and he closed his eyes, Louis snuggling up next to him. It was nice. Really nice actually. He found himself drifting off when suddenly something fell onto his forehead. He had been in that inbetween place of sleep and wakefulness. He brushed off the feeling but then he felt it again. His eyes flew open as yet another drop of water fell on him and he froze, tensing up.

_Drip, drip, drip…drip_

_Drip, drip, drip…drip_

_You’re a naughty boy Harry. Don’t think I don’t see the way you look at Louis. You’re never getting out of here. You will die in this place and you will be mine forever._

_Drip, drip, drip…drip_

_Drip, drip, drip…drip_

“Harry! Harry snap out of it!” He felt himself being shaken and he took in a gulp of air, his vision actually returning to him. He felt his body shaking and his hands clenched tightly at his sides.

“Wha..?” He asked, his eyes wide in both confusion and fear.

“You just froze and started shaking really hard and then you went white as a sheet.” Louis looked at him in scared concern.

He took in a deep shuddering breath and wiped away the water from his forehead and looked up at the apparent leak in the ceiling. Louis looked up along with the rest of the boys.

“Oh shit Harry. Come here.” Louis murmured and hugged him tight and Harry hugged him back.

“I had a flashback didn’t I?” He mumbled and Louis let him to look him in the eyes and nodded solemnly. God. He really was damaged now wasn’t he? Could he ever have any sort of water dripping on his head without being transported back to that horrid room with the grotesque Cowell he saw sometimes prowling his dreams? “I’m broken.” He whispered so silently he was sure that Louis did hear him.

“No. You are nowhere near being broken Harry. Look at me.” Louis said fiercely and he looked up at him slowly and was a little surprised to see the fire in those blues eyes. He wondered if this was a bit of Tom seeping in. “You are probably the strongest of us all okay?”

“No I’m not. I’m weak.” He muttered and looked away. “I had a flashback because of a fucking drip of water.” He hissed bitterly.

“Harry look at me.” Louis repeated and he sighed loudly and raised his head solemnly. “You were tortured okay? _Tortured_. If that doesn’t give you a legitimate excuse then I don’t know what does. But who cares if it was just water? That’s nothing compared to what’s wrong with me.” Louis gave him a little smirk and Harry looked up at him with a small little smile.

“There’s nothing wrong with you Louis.” He muttered

“Oh really? Why don’t you tell that to Will. Or hell, even Tom.” Louis narrowed his eyes, removing his arms from Harry’s shoulders but kept them on near his knees.

“You can’t help that though.” He whispered and Louis arched an eyebrow.

“And you can help being scarred from water torture?” He sighed at that and shrugged.

“I’d like to change that.” He whispered again.

“Okay. Okay let’s change it then. I’m here for you Harry. If you freak out on me I’m not going to freak alright? We’re all messed up here.” Louis gave a little quirk of a smile and Harry took in deep breath.

“Thanks Louis.” He murmured and Louis beamed at him.

“Don’t mention it. We got to stick together you know? And Harry?” Louis asked hesitantly

“Yeah?”

“I’m…well I know it’s kind of selfish of me to say I guess, but I’m really glad you came here. Even if you didn’t want to be here.” Louis ducked his head at that and Harry felt himself soften.

“I know it’s not the best circumstances but I’m actually really glad I ended up here too.” He said softly and Louis looked back up at him at those words, nothing shy of joy in his eyes.

“Really?” Louis murmured

“Yeah. I don’t think I would have survived without you guys taking me in.” Harry shrugged.

“You did seem rather lost when you first came in.” Louis giggled and Harry flicked his arm in laughter.

“Hey! I was dropped off at an asylum what was I supposed to think?!” He laughed as well and Louis shrugged.

“I dunno. Maybe act crazy?” Louis laughed and Harry’s mouth dropped open at that. “It was a joke Harry! Sheesh.” Louis giggled again and winked and Harry just shook his head in laughter.

“Low blow Louis. Even for you.” Harry teased and got up to move from the other couch that didn’t have a leak over it. Louis followed of course and curled up next to him. Louis looked up at him from the comfort of his shoulder and Harry looked down at him.

“Harry?” Louis murmured after a while.

“Yeah?”

“You aren’t going to try and leave us again are you?” He froze at that but played it off.

“No Lou. I’m not.” He said with surprisingly no waver in his voice.

“Good.” Louis snuggled up next to him. “Because I don’t think I could ever survive without you Harry.”

Harry swallowed hard at that.

Oh yeah, Louis was totally his weakness. There was no doubting that now


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually really liked this chapter. A cute little Zarry moment in there (such good friends all of the sudden) and of course some twists as usual

Harry was starting to get wary. There had been no incidents for almost four weeks now. Nothing more than usual of course. Niall hyperventilated for only a few minutes whenever they got different types of clothes to wear since it was getting colder. Louis got really depressed when he found out what day it was a week back and said that it was one of his sister’s birthdays and he was sad that he couldn’t be there to share it with her.

It was almost too perfect.

He woke up the next morning and the place was buzzing with energy. He trudged out of bed, still bleary eyed when he walked into breakfast. He shrugged his jacket close to his body as he waited in line with the rest of the boys, not really saying anything as he was still half asleep. But it was weird, everyone else seemed awake, even Zayn who like him was not a morning person at all.

“Hey Louis, why is everyone so…annoyingly awake right now?” Harry mumbled to Louis who was in front of him in line.

“Because Harry! It’s visiting day today!!” Louis grinned widely and he just looked at the smiling boy in confusion.

“Wait what?” He responded and Louis just looked at him and comically rolled his eyes.

“You know, family visits? They never tell us before hand when it’s going to be because some of the patients get really wound up weeks in advance. You must have still been in your room when they announced it.” Louis shrugged as they got their cereal and walked over to the table to where the rest of the boys were sitting.

“Well I guess this is just a regular day for me then.” He muttered sourly as he sat down, Zayn looking just as bitter as him. Liam and Niall both looked excited but nothing could compare to Louis. He was practically bouncing off the ways in anticipation of seeing his sisters. Not his parents of course, just his siblings. It seemed most of these guys didn’t exactly have the best parental relationships.

The whole rest of breakfast went by with Louis mainly leading the conversation wondering all about how Lottie’s birthday was and if the twins had grown any taller (which according to Liam they must have because they were young and young children grew fast). Harry tried to act happy, for Louis’s sake because he wasn’t going to be the one to bring him down on such a joyous day.

He ended up next to Zayn on the couch who was still just as grumpy as he was at breakfast.

“You not excited either?” Harry nudged his arm and Zayn grunted.

“Nobody’s walking through that door looking for me.” Zayn muttered and Liam’s hand squeezed his knee.

“Yeah well you and me both.” Harry said softly and Zayn held his gaze for a second before turning away. Liam began to talk to the group and Harry listened in a little bit. He was saying how they should remember how this went, they would be each be called out when someone from their family showed up and they would get to visit them. The rest of the group would only be allowed to see them if the visitors gave their consent. And Louis quickly added that the girl would most definitely allow the group to see them.

“Louis Tomlinson?” One of the orderlies called out at that moment and Louis jumped up in happiness. Harry grinned as he watched he go sauntering off. He was happy for him, he really was. Louis had mentioned more about his four little sisters than probably anyone else he knew. It was almost sad really how Louis couldn’t see them more often when it was obvious that those girls were the light of his life.

“Have you guys ever met them?” Harry looked over at the rest of the group, Niall picking anxiously at his shirt and Liam cleaning his fingernails while Zayn just sunk into the couch.

“No, none of us have.” Zayn murmured and Harry felt his heart sink a little. It would have been nice to see these girls at least once after hearing so much about them.

“Liam Payne and Niall Horan!” The orderly called out again and Niall sat bolt straight while Liam helped him to his feet and the two walked towards the exit of the lobby together.

“And then there were two.” Zayn muttered and Harry gave him a little smirk.

“If you uh..don’t mind me asking, why isn’t anyone coming for you?” He asked after a while, breaking the silence between the two of them. Zayn shifted where he sat.

“Because they hate me.” He said with an almost twisted grin on his face as he turned to Harry. His hazel eyes searched Harry’s before staring straight ahead. “And I would have hated myself too.” Zayn swallowed audibly and looked down at his hands. “I was a wreck and out of control. I hated the world and everyone in it, even my little sisters and a mum who was always the best to me, even when I wanted her to just go away. One day it just got too much.” Zayn shrugged. “I was going on a rage and accidentally hit my mum and then just deflated. God—“ He stopped and Harry held his breath as Zayn’s voice cracked. “The look in her eyes. I knew that that was the last straw and there was nothing I could do about it. I just wish they would come see me now and see how much I’ve changed. But they haven’t. Not even after almost five years.” Zayn finished and Harry was silent.

“I…I’m sor—“ He tried to start before Zayn cut him off.

“No don’t be sorry.” Zayn snapped. “It was my fault and I know it. Now you, you’re another story aren’t you? Your parents genuinely hate you for no good reason.” Zayn shifted the topic of conversation to him and Harry just shrugged.

“Yeah pretty much. That’s why I’m not expecting anyone to come for—“

“Harry Styles!” The orderly barked and his head jerked up at the sound of his name. What the hell? There was actually someone here to see him? He looked at Zayn in confusion but Zayn quickly pushed him up and towards the door. He stumbled forward and looked back, Zayn giving him a motion with his hands to go on and Harry turned towards the orderly and almost groaned out loud.

“Someone’s here to see you Harry! Isn’t that just wonderful?” Smiley grinned at him.

“Yeah I’m so ecstatic.” He said in a sweet tone that had Smiley actually cared he would have seen straight through the honeyed edges and into the sarcasm.

“Oh this is one of my favorite days! Everyone’s so happy. The place is practically buzzing.” Smiley hummed to himself and Harry had to hold back the urge to gag. “Here we are! Just let an orderly know or myself if you need anything.” Smiley winked at him. Actually _winked_.

“Er thanks.” He said, sliding around the creepy man and stepped into what looked almost like an interrogation room. It was in a brighter part of hospital, nothing close to the doom and gloom of the torture rooms he had seen far too much of. He turned toward his visitor and his heart rose. “Nick!” He grinned happily and rushed at the man.

“Harry! Oh it’s so good to see you.” Nick hugged him tightly. Harry let him go after a while and they sat down across the table from one another. Nick Grimshaw had been his best friend outside of this hellhole. He was too a member of the higher class society but not as high as Harry’s family. He had taken Harry under his wing and the two had become the best of pals, despite the obvious age difference.

“What are you even doing here?” Harry asked, still shocked and Nick looked around warily before rising to go shut the door to the room.

“What have they been doing to you in here?” Nick asked seriously as he sat back down across from Harry.

“Oh god Nick it’s terrible. I’ve gotten the shock therapy and this horrid thing called water torture where they drip water on your forehead over and over and—“ He swallowed, closing his eyes and balling his hands into fists. He took in a deep breath and controlled himself before opening them back up to see an utter wrecked look on Nick’s face.

“Oh Harry…” Nick whispered and got up to hug him tightly once again. Harry wrapped his arms around Nick’s waist as his head was clutched tightly to Nick’s stomach. “I’m so, so sorry.” Nick murmured. He let Harry go again and Nick dragged his chair over to face Harry.

“Why, it’s not your fault.” Harry muttered a bit bitterly. “You weren’t the one with the horrid parents.” Nick licked his lips nervously.

“Listen Harry, these don’t last for very long. I’m here to help you escape.” Nick whispered, still looking warily at the door. Harry looked at him in confusion.

“I already tried that Nick, it didn’t work.” He hissed

“Yeah but that’s because you weren’t prepared. I’ve brought you maps of this place and time schedules. I just wrote a few letters pretending to be an architect that my family knows well. You can escape here okay? I’ve even set up an account for you when you do leave here.” Nick explained and Harry’s eyebrows rose.

“You would do that for me?” He breathed.

“Of course Harry, you’re like the son I never had and my best friend at the same time.” Nick grinned, shrugging. Harry swallowed.

“But…I can’t leave my friends here. They wouldn’t survive without me. This one guy Niall would probably not eat for months and this other guy Liam would have a massive panic attack and Zayn would get in trouble trying to calm him down like last time and Louis—“ He froze at that. “No. I can’t leave Louis.” He straightened seriously. “I’m not going anywhere unless they come too.”

“But Harry, breaking one person out is hard enough but five? Come on.”

“No Nick. If I’m going to do this they’re coming too. Can’t you like pay off some of the guards or something?” Harry said coldly.

“It’s not that simple. This Dr. Cowell guy has them locked down almost as much as the patients here.” Nick sighed and ran his hands through his hair when a knock sounded on the door, signaling them nearing the end of the visit. “Alright fine. Bring your friends too but Harry please be careful?”

“Of course I will be Nick.” He softened and they rose, Nick passing the papers to him and he stuffed them down his pants. They hugged tightly again as the door opened and Smiley popped his head back into the room.

“Times uuuup! Come along Harry.” He said happily and Harry waved goodbye to Nick and seriously hoped that he would see him again. He kept his head up as he walked back into the lobby where the rest of the boys were back from their visits. He grinned happily at them and listened to Louis tell him about the short visit he had with the girls and how he was sorry that his mum wouldn’t let them meet anyone else. He listened to stories from Liam about his parents and how they were happy to see him. And of course he listened to Niall’s soft spoken stories about him meeting up with his mum who was thrilled to see him and how happy she was to see him talking.

He just brushed off his own meeting about an old friend who he was so happy to see. He didn’t dare tell them about the papers that were stuffed into his clothes.

And he didn’t dare tell him that he was planning on escaping, but this time for real.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay you’re probably gonna get some strong feels from this chapter and you may secretly want to stab me with a knife and I get that. Yeah so enjoy?

Harry’s mind would not shut up. He tried to get to sleep, he really did, but just thoughts kept swirling in his head. He kept the candle by his bed going till almost dawn. Well it might have actually been dawn, he couldn’t really tell with the high prison window on his wall. It was a shame that they didn’t have electricity in the cells (oh excuse me, _rooms_ ). It would have made things go a lot faster. He poured over the maps and the time schedules Nick had given him. It was a huge stack for all the different schedules for all the different areas of the large asylum.

He was almost done with reading them when he heard the whistle that signaled the patients to wake up. He froze and stuffed the papers into a little nook where he had found a couple of loose bricks. The key was hiding there as well. A paper drifted to the ground as he returned the bricks to their place and he snatched up the paper and shoved it into his pocket before practically lunging for his bed to act like he had just woken up.

“Morning Harry!” Smiley greeted him as per usual. He just grunted and squinted his eyes at him in a glare. “Now that’s not the way to greet the day!” Smiley said in a way too chipper voice.

“It’s the way I always greet the day.” He muttered to himself as he slid past Smiley and joined the boys for breakfast. Louis was still on his high from seeing his sisters and even Niall was more talkative today. Zayn kept silent over his meal though, not wanting to ruin the mood for the rest of them. Harry caught his eye for a moment and Zayn shrugged and went back to his bacon.

“Hey who’s that?” Louis piped up and pointed rather obviously to a girl that Harry hadn’t seen before. She was as thin as a rail and looking around a little confused. She almost reminded him of himself when he first came to the Asylum.

“I dunno, she must be new.” Liam said with a little frown on his face. It was rather unusual to see a girl in the place. There was only perhaps five of them in the whole maximum security part of the hospital. Either people preferred not to send their daughters to asylums or the workers assumed that they didn’t need as high of security cautions as males. The girl caught their eye and she shuffled over to their table.

“Hello.” She said softly and Harry could really see how skinny she truly was. He had seen women in the higher class look exactly like her and they would often faint at least every other day because they refused to eat in order to keep their figure.

“Hi!” Liam smiled at her. “Are you new here?”

“Yeah. Got here last night.” She said softly in a rather thick accent.

“Well you’re welcome to sit with us if you’d like. I’m Liam, this is Zayn, Niall, Louis and Harry.” Liam smiled kindly as he introduced all the boys who all waved a little.

“I’m Cher.” She said with the same soft almost whispery voice. She sat down next to Harry and he looked at her non-existent plate of food.

“You can go get some food if you want.” He said and she froze for a second before shaking her head.

“Oh no, I’m good. I’m not hungry.” She brushed him off and he shrugged.

“Suit yourself then.”

*

Cher quickly weaseled her way into the group. She threw off the groups feel and it was strange to suddenly have an extra person. She was loud and crude and sometimes Niall would grip onto Harry’s arm tightly when she was talking. But no matter what she just would not go away.

It was rather strange for Harry, not being able to just relax with the boys. He found himself stressed for the first time in a long time what with the plans he was formulating in his mind and the fact that Cher would just not leave him alone. Out of all the boys he was the one that she clung to the most.

“Harry aren’t you going to sit next to me?” Cher pouted and Harry sighed.

“I’m going to sit next to Louis.” He said through gritted teeth secretly hating Liam for being such a kind soul and inviting her into their group in first place.

“But, I feel better when you sit next to me. Why don’t you sit in the middle of us?” She smiled sweetly at the two of them and they both knew not to argue. It was much easier just to agree with her, otherwise she became the she-devil that clawed its way up from hell. Louis sighed and got up to sit on the end of the couch with Harry smooshed into the middle of them. Cher wrapped her arm around Harry’s and leaned into him. “See isn’t this nice?” She grinned up at him and he tried shifting away but her grip was like a vise.

Harry could feel Louis tensing up next to him. He knew that Louis hated Cher with a passion. She always gave him a disgusted face whenever he would make some comment that she didn’t agree with. He had seen Will more times than he had ever had before.

“Cher…” He pursed his lips and she looked up at him with those big doe eyes and pouted.

“Come on Harry. Why don’t you like me?” She frowned and he shifted away from her some more.

“Because…” He trailed off again and her eyes narrowed.

“Answer me.” She hissed, her eyes flashing.

“Cher, seriously calm down.” Harry tried but it was too late. She slapped him and he was pushed into Louis, his eyes wide with shock. Suddenly Louis was no longer there and Harry fell back as Louis practically climbed over him trying to get at Cher, his hands curled into claws.

“Don’t you ever fucking talk to him like that!” Louis yelled and Harry struggled to get out from under Louis who was clambering at Cher who was screaming in fear.

“Louis no!” He yelled and grabbed him around the middle, trying to get him to stop from raking his hands across Cher. Louis was hissing and spitting like a cat and the other boys rushed at him trying to get him calmed down but it was too late. The orderlies were running over, the syringes glinting in the sunlight that streamed into the large lobby.

“Louis please!” Harry begged, gripping the boy tight in an effort to stop him. Maybe if he did stop him the orderlies wouldn’t take him away. Louis turned on him, those blue eyes blazing but his eyes widened when he saw Harry’s expression.

“Harry?” The real Louis asked right before the needle was plunged into his neck and Harry let out a little shriek.

“No you can’t take him!” He screamed at the orderlies, grappling onto their arms. One of them nodded to another and before he knew he felt that now almost familiar prick of pain then darkness once again.

*

He woke to find himself strapped to a chair once again. It was almost comical at how he could predict this. If you screamed or yelled or tried to save another you were punished. He swallowed as he blinked his eyes opened and let them adjust to the gloom. This was a different room than previous times. It was bigger for one thing. He squinted as his vision came in clearer and he gasped in horror as he saw what was across from him.

“Louis!” He squeaked as the boy stirred in his chair and Harry had to bite his lip hard from whimpering. Oh god no. He knew that there was a reason they were actually in the same room together. Louis muttered something and then opened his eyes slowly.

“Harry?” Louis slurred, still waking up from the drug.

“Oh god Louis I’m—“ He started

“Oh good! You’re both up! Splendid.” He heard that voice again and he watched as Louis switched to Will in an instant. It was heartbreaking as Louis cowered away from Cowell as he came into the room. The man looked between the two of them, shaking his head in what looked like disappointment. “You two have been very naughty, causing all sorts of nonsense. I’m rather disappointed in the two of you, Harry especially. Did you not learn your lesson from last time?” Cowell frowned at him. Harry just glared while Louis began shaking. Harry looked over at him in concern and bit his lip while Cowell just laughed.

“I see you noticed our guest for today Harry. You see, I’m a big believer in only using the shock treatment when it really needs to be used, that’s why only Louis here is getting it today. As a little warning to the both of you.” Cowell smiled sinisterly. Harry’s eyes widened and he looked at Louis then back to Cowell.

“No.” Harry whispered.

“What was that Harry dear? I couldn’t hear that.” Cowell turned toward him.

“I said no. I’d rather we both get the shock.” Harry said with a stronger voice and Cowell just laughed.

“Oh Harry you silly little boy. This is a punishment for you. You don’t get to choose how it goes.” Cowell laughed, shaking his head. He motioned at one of the orderlies behind Louis’s chair.

“Louis I’m sorry!” He yelled before the machine was turned on and he could visibly see Louis’s pain. The boy’s face scrunched up and he was jerked around from the bolts of electricity coursing through his body. Harry tried to look away but Cowell grabbed his head and forced him to watch.

“No Harry, no looking away. See what your stupidity has done? What did poor Louis ever do to you?” Cowell whispered in his ear and Harry flinched away from him. Cowell nodded to the orderly and the shock stopped, leaving Louis heaving as tears rolled down his cheeks from the pain. Cowell crossed the room.

“Oh Louis. Do you hate Harry?” Cowell asked with a little sympathetic expression on.

“N-no.” Louis mumbled and Harry knew that it was Will still.

“Really? Time to give a little more juice to this machine then.” Cowell grinned evilly and Harry strained against his bonds, his heart dead set on trying his best to get out and just strangle the man in front of him. Pure rage pumped through his veins as Louis got the shock again. Harry had to hear him scream in pure pain while Cowell just grinned like a cat.

“Ever since you got here Harry all those boys have gotten into trouble. How does that make you feel? They had been doing so well until you showed up. It’s all your fault and you know it. You’re are a terrible person. See how much pain Louis is in? And it’s all because of you.” Cowell whispered into his ear and he hung his head. Even though he didn’t want to listen to Cowell he knew deep down that he was right. He had been the reason that Louis had turned on Cher. If he hadn’t been around Louis probably would have been fine, he wouldn’t have gone off at all.

And if he hadn’t been here then Niall and Josh wouldn’t have that horrid thing happen to them. Niall still couldn’t look at Josh and would just shake if Josh got even in the same room as him. And Liam wouldn’t have had that panic attack at the very beginning and he and Zayn wouldn’t have had to go away for so long.

It was all his fault, everything was his fault. He heard Louis sobbing as the electricity shut off again and he felt his own tears roll down his cheeks. He didn’t deserve any of them.

“I think that’s enough for today.” Cowell said with a soft voice and left the two of them. Harry didn’t look up, instead squeezed his eyes shut and prayed for sleep or something to take away the emotional pain. He didn’t want to look up at Louis. He didn’t want to see the hurt and the pain in those eyes.

“Harry?” Louis asked weakly and he squeezed his eyes shut.

“I’m so sorry Louis.” He whispered as the tears kept rolling down his cheeks and off the tip of his nose as he hung his head.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so this is the beginning of the end. Asylum is going to be wrapping up in a few chapters but don’t fret. I’m not going to stop writing anytime soon!

Harry was walked back by himself to the lobby while Louis was taken, now unconscious from the pain and thank god for that because he wasn’t sure if he could even look him in the eye anymore, knowing that the pain was caused from him. But now Louis was in blissful unawareness and he was stuck feeling like utter shit.

He kept his head down as he walked back into the lobby, only looking up to see where the boys were sitting and of course they were sitting in the same place. Cher was gone thank god but Liam looked like he was trying to keep Niall somewhat calm and Zayn was just sitting by himself, looking out the window in what seemed like a daze.

“Hey.” He said softly as he drew closer and the boys looked up at the sound of his voice.

“Where is Louis? Oh god, he’s dead. He’s dead and I didn’t even get to say goodbye. Oh god oh god oh god what am I going to do now?!” Niall started hyperventilating, almost rocking back and forth, even Liam looked a bit freaked at the sound of Louis possibly being dead.

“Calm down Niall, he’s not dead.” Harry reassured him. “But I wish I was.” He muttered as he plopped down on the couch in exhaustion, putting his face in his hands. He felt the couch bend under someone’s weight and he felt a hand on his shoulder and he turned to look and was actually surprised to see Zayn sitting next to him.

“What happened?” Zayn asked softly and Harry sighed.

“They tortured him. They tortured him because of me.” He said, his voice cracking on the end and finally the tears flowed freely. Zayn wrapped his arms around Harry tightly and he felt himself sobbing into Zayn’s shirt, clutching at the fabric. “It’s all my fault. Everything that’s happened to you guys since I got here has been because of me.” He said through his tears. He felt another hand on his arm and he looked up through the tears to see Niall looking at him, Liam close to him as well.

“It’s not your fault Harry. None of it is.” Niall said sweetly and Harry had to cry harder at that because it was his fault. Everything was. He knew that he should listen to Cowell but he only spoke the truth.

“But I was the one that got Josh into trouble.” Harry whimpered and Niall stiffened at that. “I was the one that Josh gave the key to.” He moaned in embarrassment and Niall moved away from him. “See? I’m a monster! You guys should just leave me alone.” He sighed.

“We aren’t leaving you Harry. You’re a part of us and I don’t think Louis will let us leave you.” Liam said with a little smile. Niall didn’t look at him and he supposed he deserved that.

“Louis won’t ever want to see me again after this.” Harry mumbled and Zayn scoffed at that.

“Louis won’t survive without you.” Zayn said in a “duh” tone. Harry just looked at him with a sad expression.

“You didn’t see his face though. You didn’t see the fear and _pain_.” Harry shuddered and Zayn sighed.

“We’ve all been tortured Harry, even Louis. Hell, even Liam’s been used to get to me before and if you want to talk about pain then just think of seeing Liam having a panic attack right across from you but you’re strapped down and you can’t do anything. That’s pain.” Zayn said bitterly and Harry looked over at Liam who hung his head at what was obviously a very painful memory. Harry bit his lip and sighed.

He really now had to get out. There was no other option. Staying meant pain and horror or even death. Leaving was the only way that they could possibly ever hope of having a life. He knew what he had to do.

*

Louis came back two days later and Harry was nervous when he first saw the boy. Louis wouldn’t really look at him or anyone really. He was Will at the moment and he was so far deep into Will, Harry almost wondered if he would ever see the real Louis again.

“Louis?” He asked softly and Louis flinched away from him. Zayn just shook his head and Liam patted his knee. Both of their eyes said “give him time”. Which was okay, really, Harry could take that. He had other things to do in the meantime.

He had memorized the schedules down to the last minute. He could probably draw the blueprints of this place with his eyes closed, even the train station. He had figured out a way to get out of his room and he almost had the plan firmly formatted in his mind. He just needed to figure out a way to get the guys to agree with coming along with him. Which would be a pain in itself.

He gave Louis a wide berth for a few days. He would feel Louis’s eyes on him but whenever he would look up Louis looked away but he didn’t miss the slight pink blush on his cheeks.

Niall didn’t acknowledge him for a while. He finally confronted him while Zayn was napping on the couch and Liam and Louis were playing checkers as per usual. He watched Niall for a second before walking over and trapping him next to him on the opposite couch.

“Niall, are you mad at me?” He asked and Niall squirmed, not meeting his gaze. “Niall it’s a simple yes or no.” He said softly and Niall slowly nodded his head. “Will you tell me why you’re mad at me?” He asked in that same calm tone. Niall was silent for a while.

“I’m not mad at you. Well okay maybe but I’m mainly mad at Josh and I never want to see him again.” Niall said in a volume that was barely over a whisper. So soft that Harry had to strain to hear him.

“It’s not Josh’s fault you know that right? He really, really likes you Niall and this is difficult for him too you know.” Harry said softly and Niall ducked his head.

“But he hurt me.” Niall said after a while and Harry looked at him with sympathy.

“He didn’t mean it. Just like I didn’t meant to hurt Louis. It’s Dr. Cowell who does this to us.” Harry said slowly and Niall nodded.

“I know, I just…it was terrible and I needed someone to blame.” Niall said after another long pause. Harry was used to the long pauses, it was how Niall talked when he was uncomfortable. It was like he was too afraid that he would say something that would offend someone.

“I understand. But you forgive Josh right?” Harry asked with a little cock of his head and Niall sighed.

“I probably should go talk to him huh? But…what if he doesn’t like me anymore and he’s mad that I didn’t talk to him for so long and what if he doesn’t want anything to do with me anymore and—“

“Niall just breathe. Trust me, he wants to see you again. He keeps looking over at you every time he’s in there and he looks sad.” Harry cut him off before he could really get going. Niall looked at him with the most adorable innocent face he had ever seen.

“You think so?” Niall asked him and Harry nodded.

“In fact he just walked in right now.” He pointed at Josh who was helping another patient. Niall’s eyes grew huge and he bit his lip. “You don’t have to talk to him right now if you don’t want to. Just wait until you gather your courage okay?” Harry reassured him and Niall nodded, looking back over at Josh.

“I-I think I’ll go talk to him now.” Niall said after watching Josh for a bit. Harry watched him rise and slowly make his way over to the male nurse who’s eyes lit up at the presence of Niall.

“That was really nice of you to do.” He heard a familiar voice say and he turned around slowly, like he didn’t want to scare away a baby animal. Louis was sitting next to him and gave him a shy smile.

“I felt bad y’know? I was just voice what Niall wanted to hear to push him on his way.” Harry shrugged and Louis nodded, his blue eyes looking down at the ground once again. Harry didn’t push him, he didn’t want Louis to leave him again and he was willing to wait. Louis scooted a little closer. Harry looked over at him but didn’t say anything as he looked away.

He felt Louis’s gaze on him and he turned to look at him again and Louis gave him a little smile.

“Are we okay?” Louis asked softly and Harry was genuinely shocked. Why was Louis (sort of) apologizing to him?

“Of course we’re okay! I thought you were the one mad at me.” Harry ducked his head and Louis gave a little surprised noise.

“I thought you were the one mad at me after that hell I put you through.” Harry sighed and Louis touched his shoulder. He looked up of course because he couldn’t say no to Louis.

“You’re not to blame. I thought about it for a while and yeah I was mad at you but you weren’t the one to jump at that she-devil Cher. You were trying to help me and I should be thanking you because if you hadn’t I probably would have gotten a worse treatment.” Louis said with a little sad smile on his face.

“But—“

“Harry I also decided something while I was in the infirmary.” Louis cut him off and he let the words he was going to say just fall off his tongue.

“I want to escape with you.” Louis said in a soft but confident voice.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are nearing the end and we can almost see the light

_“I want to escape with you.”_

Harry looked at Louis in shock. “Wait…what?” Louis just shrugged.

“I’m tired of being scared all the time. If you have a plan to get out I’m all ears.” Louis said softly and Harry looked around quickly. Niall was still talking to Josh who looked ecstatic to actually be in the near vicinity of the boy while Zayn and Liam were talking on the couch, Liam’s head on Zayn’s shoulder. He looked back at those blue eyes.

“I do have a plan actually, but we need to convince the other boys as well. I’m not leaving without them.” Harry said in a low voice.

“That’s not going to be the easiest thing to do you know.” Louis raised an eyebrow and Harry sighed.

“Yeah I know. But we have to try.”

*

Harry started on Zayn. They were alone while the other three boys were off getting food for everyone.

“Zayn?” He asked and Zayn just grunted, looking at him just a little bit. He took that as an okay to continue talking. “Louis and I want to escape.” He said softly and Zayn’s eyes widened and he shook his head.

“No Harry! Remember what happened last time?” Zayn hissed and oh boy did Harry remember. He could sometimes feel the sound of the water dripping when he really listened but he didn’t care about that.

“Yes I remember but I have a plan. Remember when I had a visitor? It was my friend and he brought me all of the time tables plus blueprints of this place. I know it backwards and forwards. We can do this Zayn.” Harry said in a soft voice and Zayn glared at him.

“I’m not getting involved in one of your suicide missions Harry.” Zayn snapped and he got up, leaving Harry alone on the couch with his mouth agape. He supposed he should have expected that from Zayn. He figured the boy wouldn’t exactly be the most up for trying to escape. He sighed and sunk back into the cushions. Perhaps Liam would be more willing to hear what he had to say.

*

“Wait you want to do what? Harry no! God no! What the hell are you even trying to say?!” Liam exclaimed and Harry sighed, closing his eyes and rubbing his forehead.

“Liam it’s simple. I already have a plan and everything down to the last minute.” Harry explained and Liam was shaking his head.

“I don’t care if the plan sounds sound-proof; nothing ever goes right around here.” Liam said in a steely voice and Harry got the feeling that Liam had gone through something like this before.

“Liam come on mate. Nothing is going to happen. I know what I did wrong last time and it’s not going to happen again.” Harry pleaded and Liam stiffened and got up quickly, a dangerous flash in his eyes.

“That’s what they all say.” Liam hissed and promptly left, leaving Harry alone once again.

*

“Hey Niall?” Harry asked hesitantly and Niall looked over at him with bright eyes. Niall’s mood had gotten so much better after talking with Josh and he could just feel the happiness rolling off the boy in waves. He was glad he had finally convinced him to make it up with Josh.

“Yeah Harry?”

“I uh…I don’t want you to freak out or anything—“ Niall stiffened at that but Harry pushed forward. “but Louis and I want to escape and we want you to come too.” He felt Niall tense up even more next to him and the boy began to quake in fear.

“No.” Niall whispered so softly that Harry could barely make it out. Niall just closed his eyes and shook his head violently. “Nononononono.”

“Hey Niall. Buddy, it’s okay.” Harry reached out to grip his shoulder lightly but Niall jerked away, his blue eyes blazing in a way he had only seen once when he had brought up Josh.

“NO HARRY.” Niall practically spat loudly and Harry looked over at the orderlies who were now looking over at them in interest.

“Niall shh, it’s okay just forget it. It’s fine yeah?” Harry tried to get him to calm down and Niall finally just gave him a hard look and left him as well. He let out a loud groan and closed his eyes as he sunk into the couch. What was it going to take to get these boys to understand that they really couldn’t stay here any longer?

*

Unfortunately the thing that pushed them all to their breaking point came only a week later. Harry’s plan was all but forgotten by the rest of the boys it seemed and everything was back to normal at least as normal as it could get in an asylum.

They were just chatting about random things when suddenly Liam froze.

“Zayn. What day is it?” Liam asked in a scared voice.

“It’s Feburary sixteen—oh shit.” Zayn said, his eyes widening. “Liam stay with me love. It’s okay.” Zayn quickly wrapped his arms around Liam tightly as the boy went pale like he did the other time when Harry watched him have panic attack.

“Louis, what’s happening?” He whispered to Louis in a slightly scared voice. He had seen the previous panic attack but A. it was still scary and B. he had no idea what had set Liam off.

“Three years ago on this date, Liam’s friend, Andy got taken into the shock room along with Liam. I don’t even remember why anymore but Andy struggled and protested too much so he got the insulin treatment with Liam watching and…well…he didn’t uh…make it.” Louis explained in a soft voice and Harry looked at Liam with sympathy on his face. “Liam has always had a panic attack on this day.” Louis finished and Harry looked over at Liam with more concern.

Liam was curled up into Zayn’s chest, his chest heaving with rushed breaths and his eyes were blown wide. Harry could hear Zayn murmuring soft words to the boy who was clutching onto Zayn’s shirt tightly. Harry looked around for the orderlies but they didn’t seem to notice what was going on and that was good. At least until Liam started screaming.

“ANDY!” Liam screamed and Zayn tried covering his mouth with his hand but it was no use. It was too late to do anything. The orderlies came over in a rush as Liam shook harder, breathing ragged and painful sounding.

“Liam please!” Zayn pleaded, the boy’s own eyes wide. The orderlies came over and dragged away Liam from Zayn with brute force. Zayn’s hazel eyes grew dark with rage and Louis jumped at Zayn to try and hold him back and Harry jumped forwards as well but Louis’s grip on Zayn broke and the boy was tearing after Liam before an orderly got him with a syringe before he could do any extra harm to anyone. Niall’s eyes were wide with fear and he was cowering against Harry as Harry gasped in shock when Zayn felt to the ground in a boneless heap. Liam was crying and screaming Zayn’s name before he too was given a syringe.

Niall gasped and hide his face against Harry’s body and Harry held him close, the three boys left utterly speechless at the scene that they had just witnessed.

*

Harry, Louis, and Niall were a quiet group for the next few days. It was on the third day that both Zayn and Liam came back into the lobby, both looking terrible. They were wordless as they sat down next to three other boys.

“We’re in.” Zayn said looking straight ahead, his voice broken and wrecked sounding, like he had been screaming for a long time and knowing what went on inside those rooms Harry figured that he actually had.

Harry reached out and squeezed Zayn’s hand softly. Zayn just looked down at their loosely clasped hands and said nothing but he felt the boy relaxing a bit.

“Thank you.” Harry murmured and Zayn did nothing.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So now there are officially two more chapters left. Yep. It’s almost over kiddies ): Anyways this is kind of a filler chapter because I didn’t want the next two chapters to be super, super long plus it’s got some good lead up for the next chapter.

“So you really have everything down to the last minute?” Niall asked hesitantly in that soft voice Harry now associated with his anxiety. Harry nodded.

“I have everything planned out. We are going to get out of here lads.” Harry said with a confident voice because that’s what he was, confident. He knew that his first attempt at escape went terrible because he had stupidly tried to do it alone without any knowledge beforehand.

“You do realize we are going to die if this doesn’t work right?” Zayn growled and Harry swallowed.

“Yeah I know. But I know this will work, otherwise I wouldn’t have asked you to come with me.” Harry said softly.

“Well I for one have full faith in Harry.” Louis said with a nod and looked around at all the boys as if asking them to try and deny him. No one did of course, especially not with the dangerous look in Louis’s eye. Louis had gotten more and more protective of Harry since their time together in the shock room which was almost opposite of what Harry expected. He thought Louis would act like Niall but he instead seemed stronger than ever and Harry was relieved because he wasn’t sure if he could bear Louis not speaking to him for a long period of time.

“Thank you Louis.” He said softly and gave him a little smile and Louis just gave him a bump of his shoulder and his smile got bigger and he looked away with a little blush coloring his face.

“Oi! Lovebirds, come on.” Zayn snapped his fingers in front of Harry and Louis’s face and his blush got deeper but he cleared his throat.

“Erm right. Okay so what’s going to happen is that I’ll be the first one to sneak out with the key and unlock the rest of you guy’s doors. I figured that even if we are caught,” Niall squeaked at that and he turned towards him, “Which is a worst, worst case scenario, we can take them if we work together.” Harry explained. “Now around midnight there’s a shift change where the guards switch with the new shift here.” He pointed at the map that he had laid out in front of the boys. They had gathered around in a secluded corner with a game of checkered set up near them just in case an orderly got nosy.

“How long do we have?” Liam asked, looking at the map with intense interest.

“We have about seven minutes which should be enough time to get over to this—“ He pointed again at the map, “hallway where there’s actually an underground tunnel that the hospital no longer uses except for storage. From there we should be all good until we get out of the tunnels. They spit us out at the train station but there will be guards there as well.”

“And let me guess we can take them too?” Zayn asked with an arch of his eyebrow.

“Zayn…” Liam warned.

“No, Liam I want to know that Harry can get us out of here without us being dragged back.” Zayn hissed.

“Zayn! Enough.” Louis’s eyes flashed and the boy glared at Louis but didn’t say anything else. Harry could feel the tension in their little group become heightened and he looked over at Niall who also could feel it. The boy had his knees curled up to his chest.

“You okay Niall?” Harry asked softly and all the boys looked over at the blonde who nodded slightly.

“Just scared.” Niall whispered. “What about Josh?” Niall’s blue eyes searched Harry’s. Shit. He had forgotten about Josh.

“Josh will be fine Niall. Once Cowell knows that he can’t use him to get to you, he can’t keep him here.” Louis spoke up and Niall just nodded. Huh. Harry hadn’t even thought of that. He mouthed “thank you” to Louis who gave him his own little smile.

“Erm so anyways. There’s only going to be three guards at the train station but they have a blind spot from where we come out of the tunnels. We can sneak around behind them and into the woods where from there we’ll be home free.” Harry sat back and looked around at all of the boys, a mixture of emotions playing across their faces. Louis looked determined with his jaw set in a firm line, Zayn looked almost nervous but he was playing it off that he was fine, Liam was biting his nails in nervousness and Niall just looked scared.

“It’s going to be fine I promise.” Harry said in a soothing voice.

“You don’t know that.” Niall whispered and Liam nodded, Zayn just raising his chin a little bit like he didn’t want to show that he agreed.

“I bet my life.” Harry said seriously. “This will work.” He said with a steely glint to his eyes and the boys just looked away except Louis who gripped his arm softly in a reassuring squeeze. He leaned into that a bit.

“So when are we planning on doing this?” Zayn said in a monotone tone.

“In two nights. That’s when the guards take longer amounts of time to change shifts since it’s the weekend.” Harry said with a nod and it was then that the whistle blew for dinner. He quickly gathered up the map and shoved it down his shirt before getting up.

“Harry.” Louis reached out to grab his arm. He stopped and turned around as Louis kept him back from the rest of the group.

“Yeah Louis?” He asked, a little concerned.

“Are you really sure that this is going to be okay?” Louis whispered so that none of the other boys could hear. He looked back at the other three who were making their way to the dining room. “Tell me the truth.” Louis said seriously and he bit his lip.

“Going by logistics, this should go off without a hitch, but…”

“But?” Louis’s eyes narrowed a bit.

“There are so many things that could go wrong. The times could be off or there could be more guards.” He replied honestly and Louis bit his lip.

“Don’t tell the others okay?” Louis whispered as he took Harry’s hand in his own. Harry looked down at their clasped hands and then back up into those blue eyes that looked bored into him. All he saw was trust in them and he felt a wave of guilt crashing over him as he realized just what he was asking the boy to get himself into. And not just Louis, all the boys. It was a huge risk yet they had decided to take it with him.

“No I don’t plan on it.” He murmured and Louis sighed.

“If this doesn’t work out I want you to know that I don’t blame you.” Louis said softly and Harry swallowed, the guilt rising again but then Louis smiled. “I’m very glad I met you Harry Styles.”

“And I’m so glad I met you Louis Tomlinson.” Harry said softly as swallowed the lump in his throat and hugged the boy hard. Louis of course hugged back just as tightly and Harry wasn’t sure when he would get a chance to do that again.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay one more chapter to go. You getting sad yet?

They didn’t say much all day. Mostly just the basic stuff that they _had_ to say like “pass the salt” or “going to the bathroom”. Liam stayed closed to Zayn, like practically in his lap close and Zayn was whispering soft words in his hear. Niall tried to sleep most of the day and actually succeeded for the most part. Louis on the other hand kept switching from his regular self to Will and back again. He would look at Harry for a long time and Harry would squeeze his leg in a reassuring way before Louis would look away from him.

Then…it was night. They were all in their rooms and Harry had his hands clasped over his chest, staring at the ceiling. They had recently placed clocks in all the patients rooms so that was at least one plus. He didn’t have to rely on his internal clock or try going by the moon rising out of his tiny window. So many thoughts went through his head like how he had to make sure that everything went okay and how if he screwed up A. the boys would never trust him again and B. they would all probably die. It was a lot on his shoulders but he knew that it would work. It _had_ to work.

The clock turned to 11:55 and he slowly rose out from the cot that had been his home for almost four months. Was it strange that he felt an almost attachment to it? Was it bad that he was going to miss it in a weird sort of way? Not the actual torturing but how simple life was here. He could do nothing all day and not get yelled at by his parents. He took out the sheet of paper that he had stuffed into his pocket when it fluttered out from the other papers Nick had given him.

_Harry,_

_Please be careful. You are welcome to bring the boys to my summer house and stay there. Do NOT go home got it? They’ll just bring you right back to this horrid place._

_I love you and be safe,_

_Nick_

Harry placed the note back into his pocket for what felt like the 100th time. The folds were worn and the words faded slightly from the many times he had looked at it over the course of time since he found it. It was honestly one of the only things that kept him going, knowing that he had at least one friend on the outside that was willing to help him.

He took in a deep breath and grabbed the key from the hidden hole in the wall and slowly fit in into the lock and turned. The door opened without a sound and he slipped through, shutting it just as quietly. He made his way down the hall and unlocked Louis’s door first. The boy was waiting at the door and he gave Harry a little nod with his wide blue eyes and together they unlocked the rest of the boy’s doors.

“Okay follow me.” Harry whispered softly, looking over his shoulder at the dim hallway, so far so good. Nick’s times had been right up till this point and they had yet to have any close calls. The boys were silent as they followed Harry.

“Shit!” Harry whispered as he saw a shadow loom along the wall. He pushed everyone into the little cove as a guard walked by, totally oblivious to the five patients. Niall made a little whimper and Louis slapped his hand over the boy’s mouth as the guard stopped. Harry froze along with the rest of the boys and didn’t breathe until the guard shrugged and continued walking. Everyone let out a little sigh of relief and Harry began walking towards the tunnels once again. Louis gripped his arm and let his hand slid into his, squeezing it slightly. He squeezed back, thankful for the encouragement.

“Okay everyone in.” Harry whispered as he opened the heavy door into the tunnels. Zayn went first, his hand holding Liam behind him followed by Niall and then Louis. Harry shut the door behind them, leaving the fresh air behind and entering the heavy, musty air of the underground tunnels. It was practically pitch black with only a few little beams of light coming from the slits in the doors leading into the tunnels. He shuffled to the front, Zayn hissing when he stepped on his foot by accident and he said a quick sorry before taking the lead once again.

“Everyone hold onto each other.” Harry ordered and he felt what could only be Louis’s dainty hand on his shoulder, gripping hard. He began moving, hands running along the walls so that he didn’t actually fall. It was a slow process but at least they were away from any present danger. No one used these tunnels, and especially not at night. He heard Niall give out a little shriek that was muffled quickly by a hand.

“Sorry, I felt something.” Niall whispered, his voice obviously shaking from either fear or anxiety, or both.

“Probably a rat.” Liam said softly. Harry hadn’t thought about the possibility of rats and had he not been trying to escape he probably would have gotten the hell out of here. He began moving again and finally found the side tunnel that they were looking for. He turned down it and saw more light up ahead from the exit by the train station. He made sure they stayed in the shadows just in case and soon they were coming up to the exit.

“Okay once we leave the tunnels we are going to have to make a run for it, got it? Keep up with each other and don’t let anyone fall behind.” Harry ordered in a serious voice and he saw the boy’s scared but determined expressions in the dim light. God he hoped this worked. He squeezed Louis’s hand for support and Louis leaned up to place a kiss on his cheek.

“We believe in you Harry.” Louis said softly and he heart nearly broke at that because what if this didn’t work? He didn’t respond, knowing that if he did he would probably chicken out. He let go of Louis’s hand and crept forward to look out of the exit. The three guards were there and fortunately had their backs away from the tunnel and were playing a game of cards. He could hear the murmur of their voices and he looked back at the boys with a little nod. They all tensed up as Harry made his way out of the tunnels, creeping along the side that the guards couldn’t see. The four boys followed him on soft feet until Zayn stepped on a rock and it made a noise.

“Did you hear that?” Harry winced and he motioned for the boys to sprint. He led the way, legs pounding against the hard ground and he headed towards the woods where he knew that they would be able to lose the guards though by the looks of them, it didn’t look like they would be able to keep up with five teenage boys for very long.

He looked behind him and saw the boys running just as close to him but even farther behind that the guards were sprinting after them as well. “Come on!!” Harry yelled desperately as Louis seemed get farther and farther back in the group. He turned around and grabbed Louis’s hand practically dragging him along. Louis’s breath was ragged from the running but Harry didn’t care. He wasn’t about to let Louis be left behind.

“I c-can’t go much farther.” Louis panted as they ducked under trees and jumped over bushes.

“Yes you can Louis. You can for me.” He yelled and Louis gritted his teeth and kept up.

“Harry!” Zayn yelled and Harry ran towards his voice, dragging Louis along with him. He found Zayn, Liam, and Niall huddled under a little alcove in the side of a hill and he quickly joined them. He put his finger to his lips as the guards came running by. All of them held their breath which was a feat in itself from the amount of physical exertion they had just done. The voices of the guards died off though and they all began breathing again. Louis hugged him tightly, head on his shoulder as his chest moved up and down as he tried to regain his breath.

“We did it.” Harry murmured, relief coloring his voice and the boys all let out their own sigh of relief. It was silent for a little bit, their ears still straining to hear any footsteps coming near them or shouts off in the distance.

Nothing.

It was safe to say that they made it out okay.

“So what now?” Zayn asked after a little bit, his voice still low.

“My friend Nick says that we can stay in his summer house which isn’t too far from here.” Harry explained. “We can figure it out from there.” He finished. The others nodded and they all got to their feet. They moved slower this time, not seeing the need to run but their eyes flitted back and forth, searching for any sign of movement. Harry had a feeling that it would be like this for a while, that constant fear that you’re going to be taken back, the fear that you might die if they get a hold of you. He even felt the tendrils curling around him but he knew that the other boys must be feeling it much worse than him after seeing people actually die.

They were silent as they walked but they talked in their expressions and touches. Niall brushed his shoulder with his own and Harry slipped his hand into the shaking boy’s. He squeezed it a little and Niall gave him a tiny smile that faded quickly. Louis would look at him with a mixture of emotions playing across his face but the most prominent one was relief and thanks.

They made it to the house on the edge of the woods and Harry snuck over the fence, helping the others up and over as well. He had never really got why Nick had a house near Leeds but right now he was just thankful. The house was empty and locked but Harry knew where Nick kept the spare key. He unlocked the house and the boys piled in. And it was then that it all set in.

They were free.

Zayn suddenly wrapped Harry up in a tight hug and Harry gave a little yelp of surprise but the other boys joined in and Harry hugged them all back.

“Thank you.” Zayn murmured and sniffed as he stepped back. Harry was rather shocked to see the rest of the boys with tears in their eyes as well. He bit his lip to keep his own from springing to life.

“You saved us Harry.” Liam said as he rubbed at the corner of his eye sheepishly.

“We can never repay you.” Louis said softly and Harry just looked at the four boys who had changed his life. He swallowed at the lump in his throat.

“But you guys have changed me.” He said softly. “I could have never done this without you.” He said as his own tear fell down his cheek much to his annoyance. He hated getting all sappy but for these guys he would allow himself that. “God.” He chuckled. “Let’s get some sleep yeah?” The other boys laughed and agreed. Harry showed them their rooms, Liam and Zayn taking their own while Niall had his own big bed (the largest he’s ever seen!) and Louis followed Harry into his own room.

“You don’t want your own bed Louis?” He cocked his head at the boy and looked at him shyly.

“I’d like to sleep in your bed…if that’s okay.” Louis said with a shy smile. Harry gave his own smile and nodded.

“Of course.” So he fell asleep with Louis’s head nestled into his chest and his arms wrapped around his torso and it was the best sleep of his life.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we go guys. The ending. Um...yeah you might really really hate me and that's all good.

“Hmmm morning Louis.” He called out as he slowly came out of his sleep and moved his hand around to try and find the boy, his eyes still shut. The bed was empty and he opened his eyes in confusion and his heart stopped. This was not the room that he fell asleep in.

“Louis?!” He sat up quickly, panic coursing through his body. This room was strange to him with bright windows and sterile environment. It was like a fancy hospital but nothing like he had seen before. Granted he hadn’t been in very many hospitals before.

He breathed a sigh of relief whenever Louis poked his head into the room. “Morning Harry! How you feeling?” Louis smiled at him, his eyes crinkling at the corners. He was wearing something strange though, a long white coat.

“Louis what the hell is going on?” He asked, his eyes narrowing and Louis looked at him with concern.

“Oooh. Okay hang on.” Louis said, his eyes going wide and then he disappeared. Harry began to panic even more at this point because he had no idea where he was, no idea what the hell was happening, and he just wanted to go back to his cozy little bed with Louis curled up into his side. He cowered down under the covers, not wanting to even try and attempt to figure out what was happening on his own.

“Harry?” Louis asked as he poked his head into his room again and Harry instantly straightened up in the bed. Louis walked in with Niall, Zayn, Liam, and even Josh following him. They all wore something along the lines of what Louis had been wearing. Josh and Niall were wearing loose pants and a weird shirt thing , both of the same color.

“Guys what is…what are you…I’m so confused!” He sputtered and they all looked at him in concern.

Louis turned around to the other guys. “You mind waiting outside for a little bit?” They all agreed of course and then it was just him and Louis in the tiny room. “Harry what do you last remember?”

“Erm..” He sat up more in his bed. “We fell asleep together after we got out. Don’t you remember?” Louis blushed at that a bit and cleared his throat.

“Harry, I haven’t been anywhere with you.” Louis said softly and Harry’s eyes widened.

“What are you talking about? We’ve been together for four months in that damn asylum.” He hissed and Louis gave him a sad, almost pitying look. “High Royds? Ring a bell?” He barked when Louis didn’t say anything. Louis sighed and sat down next to him in one of the chairs. He placed his hand on Harry’s and looked him in the eye.

“Harry, you’ve been here for four months. High Royds doesn’t exist.” Louis said softly and he froze. Before he knew it he was jumped out of bed and pushing past Louis, heading into the hall. He ran past the other boys who called out after him.

Everything was so sterile and white and confusing. Why did this look so modern? What happened to the stone and why was it so cold in here? He shivered, running his hands up and down his arms as he made his way around the floor.

Wait…he remembered this. He was jolted with images and he gasped, sliding to the floor with his head in his hands. He remembered coming here and yelling. And he remembered the soothing talks. But then he remembered his time at High Royds just as vividly if not more.

“Harry?” Louis asked, sitting down next to him along the wall, placing a hand on his knee.

“What’s happening Louis?” He whispered at tear escaping his eye.

“You’re coming back to reality Harry.”

“W-what?”

“You have a very severe case of schizophrenia. Do you know that that is?” Louis asked in a soothing voice and Harry shook his head, sniffling a little bit. Louis reached into his pocket and brought out a tissue and handed it to him. He took it gratefully.

“Schizophrenia is a mental condition that allows the patient to create illusions to escape reality.” Louis explained and Harry stopped breathing.

“You mean…everything I experienced was nothing?” He asked in horror, his eyes going wide.

“Not everything. I think those times you were ‘tortured’—” Louis put up quotations around the word and Harry’s eyes narrowed.

“I was tortured.” He hissed and Louis gave him another sympathetic look.

“The torturing in your mind was one of the ways to cope with coming back to reality. You didn’t want to wake up and face the world so you created a way to make reality look even more vicious.” Louis explained and Harry shook his head.

“No no no nononononono.” He said over and over again as the clutched at the sides of his head and rocked back and forth.

“Hey it’s alright Harry. It’s normal for someone with your condition to create illusions.” Louis soothed and Harry just exploded.

“I’M NOT FUCKING CRAZY!” He screamed and looked up as the other boys came into his view. “Guys tell Louis that I’m not crazy.” He pleaded and they all looked away and shuffled back and forth, not meeting his gaze. “Zayn?” He asked. Zayn looked up at him and he saw the truth in his eyes.

“No.” Was all he said, his hands balling into fists. “No!” He raged and threw the closest thing to him which was a simple chair that went clattering down the hall. They all looked at him and didn’t even move. “DO SOMETHING!!” He screamed and tried to punch Zayn who grabbed at his wrists and Harry just sank against him, finally breaking inside.

“Harry?” Zayn asked softly and Harry shook his head.

“I just want to go back.” He whispered fiercely before he felt a tiny pinprick on pain and this time he actually welcomed the blackness.

*

He awoke in the same room as before and saw Louis sitting across from him.

“Hello Harry.” Louis said softly and he groaned, closing his eyes and begged himself to go back to where he left Louis in the bed.

“Why am I not back there?” He muttered.

“Because you’re coping with reality. You no longer need to create an illusion for yourself.” Louis explained but he didn’t want to hear it.

“But I like that place better.” He said softly.

“I know you do but you’re going to like this place too. I promise.” Louis said just as softly back and Harry looked over at the face that he had gotten used to and perhaps even loved. But this wasn’t the same Louis. This wasn’t the fragile human being that was so brave and strong and everything he loved. No this Louis was a stranger to him but…a tiny part of him wondered if he was anything like the Louis he knew.

“Will you help me?” He asked after being silent.

“Of course I will Harry.” Louis said with a firm nod and Harry got a glimpse of that determined Louis that he knew. He cracked a smile as tears sprang to his eyes once again because this time he wasn’t the one being strong for a broken boy like Louis. This time Louis was being the patient one that would do anything for him. He just had to get used to the fact that he was now the broken one.

“Thank you.” Harry whispered and squeezed Louis’s hand and Louis squeezed back in such a reassuring way that another tiny part of him could get used to this. He could try to do this, for Louis and for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come yell at me on [tumblr](http://www.kathleenhasfeelsandwords.tumblr.com)?


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